What kind of society are we becoming? Which Scrooge are you?

What kind of society are we becoming? Which Scrooge are you?

Through my work I’m helping and supporting so many people each facing challenges that the rest of us could never imagine. There are those having their benefits reduced because of a DWP mistakes years ago (sometimes more than four years ago). Should anyone be without money because of a mistake beyond their control?

There are those without any money for up to twenty six weeks, those with disabilities that have never been recognised trying to navigate the road that is life made even more difficult because of their disability.
The homeless ex-serviceman, discharged on medical grounds, the parents of a child with a learning disability that no one seems to be listening to! The list goes on and on!

Should anyone today have to live like this today? Have we really learnt nothing? The truth is as a society we’re spoon fed the media version of life and like fools this is what people believe. The reality is lost! Are we immune to really caring? What kind of society are we becoming? Do we only care when we can be publicly seen to care? What’s happened to our sense of being responsibility for one another?

“Look after our own first,” is the cry I often hear! Who do the people saying this think should be doing this? Are they in fact doing it themselves or are these words for others to do it instead? The truth is we should all look out for one another!

“Charity begins at home!” Is this a justification of not to give or do we mean we should look after our neighbours and fellow citizens because they are the nearest?

Through my charity work I’ve out a number of public appeals, which for the most part have been successful however, they’ve also been seen by some as an opportunity to offload junk rather than really help! It’s the reality! For every person publicly helped, there’s ten who aren’t!

This weekend I’ve read about a charity that’s closing due to lack of support and the business support dwindling. We live in difficult times but kindness costs nothing, having a heart costs nothing. We can give our money but we can also give our time too!

One of my favourite Christmas stories is A Christmas Carol where the main character Scrooge changes the person he is in time for Christmas. Do we resemble Scrooge before the change? Are we just self, self, self?

In the words of ‘Scrooge’ in the modern film ‘Scrooged'(based on ‘A Christmas Carol’):

“Christmas Eve is the one night of the year where we act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the year we are the people that we always hoped we’d be. It’s a miracle …..”

“You have to do something, you have to take a chance, you do have to get involved. There are people having trouble making their miracle happen. There are people who don’t have enough to eat, there are people who are cold. You could go out and say hello to these people, you could take them a blanket, make them a sandwich and say oh by the way, here.”

“I get it now and if you give then it can happen, then the miracle can happen to you. It’s not just the poor and hungry its everybody, who’s got to have this miracle and it can happen tonight for all of you, if you believe, then this miracle will happen and you’ll want it to happen everyday ………”

“You’ve just got to want that feeling and if you like it and you want it, you’ll get greedy for it and you’ll want it every day for the rest of your life ….”

What kind of society are we becoming? Which Scrooge are you? Only you the reader can answer this question and only you are responsible for the choices and decisions you make! Christmas is around the corner, use this time to start afresh; be the Scrooge who found a heart and the true meaning of Christmas.

https://www.gofundme.com/healsxmaswinappeal

http://www.healsmalmesbury.com

Can anyone really be isolated? It’s the 21st Century!

Can anyone really be isolated? It’s the 21st Century! According to the dictionary to be isolated is to be: far away from places, buildings or people or minimal contact.

The simple answer is yes! Think of the people you passed on the street, those you stood behind in a queue at the shops, banks or at the bus stop, you’ll probably find at least one feels isolated. It could be the older lady or man living alone, the single parent, those who’ve suffered a crime or Domestic Violence, the families at work struggling to make ends meet or just cover the cost of things, the people who’ve lost a loved one and who are struggling with their grief, those who care for loved ones, those in poverty, those who have no place to call their own, those with disabilities or Autism or who are vulnerable and the servicemen and women who feel lost having left the services due to ill health or having suffered injury serving our country.

These are the people we meet on the street everyday. These are the people we walk past every day, the people we don’t notice, thus reinforcing their feelings of isolation or even worse these are the people who we allow to be bullied, intimidated or treated badly because after all ‘its not our problem’ its their life!

What you probably don’t realise or may have never thought about is one day without warning you could be isolated just like them. Its easy to get a warm fuzzy feeling about putting a tin, packet of pasta or box of breakfast cereal or bottle in a basket. And its easy to feel good that you’ve put your loose change in a charity box. Of course both of these go a long way to help people and because of they do, we should continue to do them because every small thing we do today will help someone tomorrow.

Christmas is fast approaching its the season of goodwill to all. For many it will be a season of happiness, presents, time shared with loved ones, great expense and over indulgence. For others it is yet another reminder of what they don’t have and why they feel isolated.

When you live in a rural community where the cost of living is higher, where public transport does not run regularly, the feeling of isolation is worse! There are reminders of things you want to be involved in but are isolated from. I see this every day and whilst the numbers in comparison to the population might be low, their need is great. Think about them, especially this Christmas. What would you do if you were them? Our lives can change in an instance without warning!

The reality of the modern age is, we can’t help everyone. If can do one small but extra thing this Christmas to make a significant thing you’ll have done something that will help another. If you’re not in a position to help then please support those who are helping by donating, supporting an event, visiting someone you think may be in need or volunteering.

Can anyone really be isolated? It’s the 21st Century! Yes they can but by being the difference you’ll make a difference.

https://www.gofundme.com/healsxmaswinappeal

What would Dickens say today?

What would Dickens say today?

In the last few days my youngest daughter (Alex) and I had the privilege of meeting Matthew in London. Matthew is homeless, he grew up in care, left care at 16, went to college and successfully became a plumber. Matthew felt he’d achieved something, he told us he was proud of who he’d become. He met a young lady and had a daughter. Life seemed perfect for Matthew, life couldn’t get any better! His young daughter became ill and Matthew couldn’t cope with the prospect of this and after his daughter passed away aged 6 years, his partner asked him to leave the family home. She couldn’t deal with her own grief and Matthews too so Matthew found himself homeless, on the streets with no one to support him! He lost the job he’d worked so hard to get and was proud of, he’d lost his daughter and his home! Matthew felt low. He’s contemplated giving up on life but despite everything he wants to prove he can achieve once again.

He told us that two years ago while he was still in grief he had a brief relationship with a homeless girl who had his son. She got off the streets and has a home. She didn’t want Matthew to live with her because he was still not emotionally ready and the authorities wouldn’t let Matthew move with her and so she now brings his son to visit London once a month.

Matthew is desperate for someone to give him a chance. He can’t get a job, claim benefits or register with a GP/Dentist because he has no home! He told us that he doesn’t want to claim benefits, he desperately wants to work! He wants to be someone, a someone who helps others! It struck us that despite what life had thrown at him, here he was wanting to give to others. We admired that strength and courage.

Alex and I took him to somewhere to eat as our guest. The server looked at Matthew and started to say “we don’t serve ….” I stopped her and told her that Matthew was my guest, I was spending my money and she was going to serve me or I would make a scene! I reminded her that Matthew is a person and he deserves the same respect and customer service as any other customer! Needless to say she could tell, I meant it! She continued to stare as did many others but we didn’t care.

Matthew had a drink, a burger and fries. He ate everything including the garnish salad and pickle! I’ve never seen a human devour food like he did, a starving dog but not a human being. Matthew told us very few people were kind to him, even those who give him money don’t speak to him! People walked past every day. It got me thinking about each of us in our daily lives, how many of us walk past people not ever knowing or caring what life is about for them. Have we really become a society that doesn’t care? I’d like to think not!

Matthew told us how well meaning people are giving out items like soap, toothbrushes, food etc. I learnt from him that without a place to go these items although well meaning were useless but that he could sell them for money for food.

Matthew also shared the horror stories of life on the streets. How he’s seen friends die, of the people who encourage the homeless to deal drugs for more money and a place to stay, how people abuse those who are homeless by kicking them or throwing buckets of cold water over them, to listen to Matthew was heart breaking and it was difficult to hold back the tears! He was determined that the drugs people weren’t going to ‘use him’ and to avoid them he moves around! He’d thought about getting a dog because they help keep the homeless warm, they offer companionship and because friends who had dogs were given more money from people passing. Matthew went to Battersea but they said no! Matthew shared how he’d asked local gyms if he could use their showers to wash, even offering to pay, he was turned down! You didn’t need much to realise that Matthew probably hadn’t washed in weeks even months but Alex and I didn’t care.

We gave Matthew food, our small change and most importantly we gave him our time! On these cold nights, I’ve thought about Matthew often and all those whose lives are just like him. We all live on the edge in life and in an instance any one of us could find ourselves facing adversity. Imagine what would happen if each one of us helped someone like Matthew every single day? A word of kindness, companionship, support, these things aren’t big but to someone like Matthew they mean the world.

Matthew would love to get out of London and start afresh but let’s face it, he’s never going to be able to. He’s trapped on a never ending merry go round of poverty and despair! Moved on from tourist places because heaven forbid they see the reality of our country!

Matthew is looking forward to Christmas Eve because then Church Halls and community centres across London open their doors and give the homeless, fresh clothes, bathing facilities, a piece of foam to lay their sleeping bags on, new sleeping bags and clothes if they need it and three hot meals a day. On January 2nd Matthew will be back on the streets, living an unbearable life but hoping that someone, one day will just give him a chance!

Why do I do what I do? Why did I set up HEALS of Malmesbury? To help all those like Matthew, those who struggle, those whose lives are difficult. If there were no HEALS I’d still help when I could. My mother tells me, it’s been who I am all my life!

Both Alex and I left Matthew with tears in our eyes and sadness in our hearts. No one should have to endure this hardship, not in this country in 2016! This is why HEALS exists! You can help by donating your time or money to HEALS or any other charity helping today!

What would Dickens say today? I think he’d be horrified! At least in his day there were places for the poor! These no longer exist and where they do they are over subscribed with people to help! So the next time you walk down the street, think about those you pass. We all live on the edge, in an instance we can be like Matthew, let’s hope unlike Matthew, there’s someone there to help!

http://www.healsmalmesbury.com