Avoiding destination burnout !!

Burnout, now there’s a place no one wants to go to!

It seems that every generation has more stress in life to cope with. Some stress is vital because the adrenalin keeps us going but too much stress in our lives is toxic. Left unchecked, it will wreak havoc on what you’ve worked hard to build. While stress can be managed, and leveraged to help you, once it pushes you over the edge into burnout it can be hard to stuff that genie back into the bottle. It seems to have happened to lots of those I know and is all too often becoming more frequent.

I know I’ve been there! To avoid burnout we need to take a look at our lives and make time for us. If we’re not strong in what we do then eventually we fail or face set backs, either way we lose out.

So how can it be avoided and what are the signs?

My own research and personal experience of burnout suggests that there are four main signs which start with your work and personal life balance being out of sync.  Life whether work,  family and personal time is full of ups and downs. The challenge is to make sure that we fill our lives with more ups, like spending time with those who support us (our family and friends). These people will see the signs and they’ll also be sure to point it out. We also need to watch our diet and eat healthily. Five portions of fruit and veg? Its more like nine! Getting rest and good quality sleep (that’s at least for seven hours) is also essential. Doing this will help us look good and feel good and if we look good and feel good we’ll react differently to the things that get us down such as, anger, home stress, worrying, even clutter! If we’re having more downs than ups then our life balance needs addressing with more ups!

The second sign is when anger and anxiety become our ‘signature emotions’. For me those around me knew I’d hit this one but I couldn’t see it. I was becoming more frustrated about stuff that wasn’t important and about the things I was doing. It made me more angry with myself.  I felt that some of those around me were taking advantage of me. If you find yourself going all the way to anger or anxiety all too quickly – the reaction may have more to do with burnout and less with what’s actually happening in the moment. So beware and take note because I failed to see the signs.

The third sign is when conflicts with loved ones, colleagues and friends become an everyday obstacle.  Conflicts are both the result of stress and a major contributing cause. If you’re fighting, that means there’s still time and energy to address what’s not working and why.  Step back and do something positive for others, you’ll feel good and they’ll feel good too.

When your passion becomes your pain and your no longer enthusiastic about what you do, its the final sign that you could have hit burn out. You need to find a way to reignite your potential, and your passion.

Use your time off to unplug from work and plug into the people and activities that give you energy, not drain you of it. You don’t have to run yourself into the ground to know that it’s time for some R&R—nor should you. And you can only get there by taking your foot off the accelerator once in a while, otherwise that engine is going to wear out, which means you wear out!

So avoid destination burnout because it could be around the corner for all of us!

Are you a duck or a chicken in what you do?

Strange question you might think and I thought the same until I had it explained to me recently by a fabulous lady Marianne Pettifor.

If you’re a duck you keep quiet when you ‘lay an egg’ ~ in real terms this means you’re keeping your achievements under wraps. How on earth do you expect anyone to engage with you if you’re quiet? How can they understand what you do or build a rapport with you?

In a charity like HEALS its exactly the same. Although the work we do is under the radar, quiet and confidential as an organisation we’re not quiet. HEALS is like a chicken! We cluck all over the farmyard when we ‘lay an egg’!

Some see this as showing off, it isn’t, its passion. We are passionate and believe in what our charity offers. We want partners to work with us, funders to fund us, people to support us and most importantly people to engage with us, so staying quiet is not an option.

Think of all the successful people in the world, are any of them ducks? If you look at them they are chickens because its only by being chickens do any of us know what they do and what they offer.

HEALS aims to take life’s ducks and help them realize their worth, see their vision and help them make this a reality. Their success is what makes us successful. Although we’re clucking about our work, we’ve not lost sight of the fact that its not about us, it’s about what we can offer and what we can do in partnership with people to help them realize their potential.

So today ask yourself am I going to be a duck or a chicken?

Many thanks to Marianne for leading the way: http://www.frogmoreconsulting.co.uk

http://www.heals.btck.co.uk

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com

 

 

No is not the answer !!!

As babies and young children the word we probably get a grasp of the meaning of most is the word no! I mean we hear it often enough! What we don’t appreciate at the time is that its said to protect us from harm because as young children we’re not capable of determining what could hurt us.

As adults we determine our own course and we must also meet life’s challenges. Nothing in life is easy. My Nan used to say the things we appreciate the most are those we’ve worked the hardest to get. I’ve noticed that when we’re faced with what seems like an impossible task, some people give up and move onto the next thing! They believe no is the answer!

Not me! I believe don’t believe in no! Those who know me well, know that this attitude has sometimes tripped me up in life but I’m still as tenacious as ever. Passion, tenacity and a belief in what I do is what drives me.

We should all believe in ourselves, our business, where we’re going and why. It’s no different at the moment for me at HEALS. We’re about to do a huge exhibition and launch event and our ‘impossible task’ is to get sponsorship funding.

I was relating to two business colleagues the difficulties this task brings and how I was finding that one approach didn’t work in every situation. One colleague was very helpful and gave me lots of tips while the other said “nah, just move on”, I was dumbfounded as to why they’d think that.

I’m not giving up, I’m giving it my best shot !! I believe in what I’m doing and where I’m heading. HEALS is unique because it not only creates and gives individuals opportunities, we do what we can to help people to change their lives.

We’ve just appointed a young Editor and assistant Editor of our Magazine. We’re offering both these individuals, mentoring support, an opportunity to enhance their career paths, opportunities to network with people in business, a portfolio of work, experience and references. We aim to do that for everyone who volunteers. We’re even getting recognition from Government for what we aim to do !!

No is not the answer !! Tenacity, self belief, the support of my team, a love for what I do and knowing that we’re making a real difference are.

Same script different cast ~ the relationship frogs

Have you ever noticed how some people seem forever unlucky in love? Are they really unlucky? Over the years I’ve observed how a lot of people seem act like frogs and jump from one relationship to another and the wonder why it continually goes wrong !!

Many years ago my Nan told me that we attract people in relationships who are just like us. I’m not sure at the time I really got what she was saying.

I’ve observed how the relationship frogs never seem to stop, find out what wrong and address it. They never give themselves time. The reality is they are using the same script, only the ‘cast’ has changed. Of course what they forget is they take all their baggage with them too. What happens when you try to carry too much? You fall and for some that’s literally.

It’s the same in business and charity too. We have to find ourselves, understand who we are and surround ourselves with similar people. However, we’ll only achieve this if we’re in a strong place ourselves.

Sixteen years ago I had broken literally. My husband had left, I was miles away from my family and friends. I was a mum to small children and faced losing my home.  At the time I thought my life was over and I was useless. Looking back I now realize, I was given an amazing gift. It was a chance to stop, take stock, look at myself and decide which way to go forward.  It’s not happened overnight and at times it’s seemed impossible but I’ve got here. I know me and I know where I belong and that’s at HEALS. The best thing is that I can use my own journey in my charity work to help others overcome adversity.

I’ve found myself and I feel stronger than ever. In my personal life I’m  surrounded by those with values like my own. Those in need are those I can help make a positive change. I’m no relationship frog be it personal or business and my life’s script is written for every new day.