Every small action today will build a brighter tomorrow.

Every small action today will build a brighter tomorrow.

For a very long while we’ve been aware of the war in Syria and the horrors people face. We’ve seen the growing number of refugees/migrants in Calais and other places for even longer. The world stood by, perhaps we felt helpless, maybe we thought it was their problem, some might have not cared or maybe we buried our heads in the sand hoping someone else would do something. Whatever our view point, little has been done and the problem has escalated and now we are faced with an unimaginable crisis.

Recently we’ve seen scenes on social media and in the papers that have shown things we probably never thought we’d ever see. We’ve seen pictures of a small innocent child smiling with so much hope for the future and that same small child’s lifeless body with all hope gone. My heart goes out to all those who’s lives are so horrendous they are willing to risk their own safety and that of their children in the hope of a better life. We’ve heard about unscrupulous people taking money from these desperate people with the promise that they will take them to safety. These accounts are comparable to stories told by many Jewish people during the 1930’s and 40’s where families paid individuals to take them to safety too so that they could escape the horrors from the Nazis. Just like the stories emerging today, many lost their lives because the money was taken and they were abandoned. The images we’ve seen and the stories we’re hearing, mean that the world is no longer willing to stand by and let these people suffer. They’ve brought the reality home and many are doing the things they can to help.

I’ve heard people say “these people should fight back” would we given the same circumstances? We’d do what they are doing, we’d run to have a chance of living. Would we stay, fight and face certain death? Of course we wouldn’t! Man’s basic instinct is to survive. Others say we should fight but this means committing the lives of our brave service men and women.

Some say don’t help these people, instead we should focus on helping those at home. Some of those saying this won’t help those at home, they’ll use the ‘helping those at home’ argument to justify not helping at all.

For me, what’s happened cannot be changed, it can be learnt by and I hope those in governance and power across the world do learn from this. I doubt they will but hope they will.

As individuals we can all should reach out to those in need be they from home or away. Each and everyone of us must follow our heart and our conscience to do what we can in whatever way we can to help. No matter what everyone will have a ‘view’ on how to solve this crisis.

There are many selfless people going out to Calais and other places to do what they can. Who are we to judge what they are doing? I’ve heard it said that those in Calais are dressed in designer clothes with iPhones! I’ve heard first hand from those ‘processing’ refugees that the reality is those they come across are frightened, dirty, starving individuals who have scabies and lice because of the terrible prolonged conditions they’ve been living in. Perhaps those suggesting otherwise come from the school of thinking that now says the plight of the Jewish people in the second world war was made up! People say this and some believe it! Thank goodness many more know this is complete rubbish! There may be a small minority of people taking advantage of this crisis with iPhones, wearing designer clothes but the majority are people who need our compassion and kindness. Thankfully, there are people doing just that and I’m proud to say I know some of these incredible people.

Is there a definitive answer to this crisis? I’m not sure there is and I know whatever the answer is it will take a huge and combined world effort. My Nan used to say words are meaningless actions speak louder. So make your actions count by supporting those in need at home or away and if you can’t, use your actions to support those who are, in the end we can all only do what we can and give hope to some.

In the words of a Michael Jackson song written for a different plight but nevertheless relevant to this crisis,
“Heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race, there are people dying
if you care enough for the living, make a better place for you and for me …”

Every small action today will build a brighter tomorrow.

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com

No is not the answer !!!

As babies and young children the word we probably get a grasp of the meaning of most is the word no! I mean we hear it often enough! What we don’t appreciate at the time is that its said to protect us from harm because as young children we’re not capable of determining what could hurt us.

As adults we determine our own course and we must also meet life’s challenges. Nothing in life is easy. My Nan used to say the things we appreciate the most are those we’ve worked the hardest to get. I’ve noticed that when we’re faced with what seems like an impossible task, some people give up and move onto the next thing! They believe no is the answer!

Not me! I believe don’t believe in no! Those who know me well, know that this attitude has sometimes tripped me up in life but I’m still as tenacious as ever. Passion, tenacity and a belief in what I do is what drives me.

We should all believe in ourselves, our business, where we’re going and why. It’s no different at the moment for me at HEALS. We’re about to do a huge exhibition and launch event and our ‘impossible task’ is to get sponsorship funding.

I was relating to two business colleagues the difficulties this task brings and how I was finding that one approach didn’t work in every situation. One colleague was very helpful and gave me lots of tips while the other said “nah, just move on”, I was dumbfounded as to why they’d think that.

I’m not giving up, I’m giving it my best shot !! I believe in what I’m doing and where I’m heading. HEALS is unique because it not only creates and gives individuals opportunities, we do what we can to help people to change their lives.

We’ve just appointed a young Editor and assistant Editor of our Magazine. We’re offering both these individuals, mentoring support, an opportunity to enhance their career paths, opportunities to network with people in business, a portfolio of work, experience and references. We aim to do that for everyone who volunteers. We’re even getting recognition from Government for what we aim to do !!

No is not the answer !! Tenacity, self belief, the support of my team, a love for what I do and knowing that we’re making a real difference are.

Same script different cast ~ the relationship frogs

Have you ever noticed how some people seem forever unlucky in love? Are they really unlucky? Over the years I’ve observed how a lot of people seem act like frogs and jump from one relationship to another and the wonder why it continually goes wrong !!

Many years ago my Nan told me that we attract people in relationships who are just like us. I’m not sure at the time I really got what she was saying.

I’ve observed how the relationship frogs never seem to stop, find out what wrong and address it. They never give themselves time. The reality is they are using the same script, only the ‘cast’ has changed. Of course what they forget is they take all their baggage with them too. What happens when you try to carry too much? You fall and for some that’s literally.

It’s the same in business and charity too. We have to find ourselves, understand who we are and surround ourselves with similar people. However, we’ll only achieve this if we’re in a strong place ourselves.

Sixteen years ago I had broken literally. My husband had left, I was miles away from my family and friends. I was a mum to small children and faced losing my home.  At the time I thought my life was over and I was useless. Looking back I now realize, I was given an amazing gift. It was a chance to stop, take stock, look at myself and decide which way to go forward.  It’s not happened overnight and at times it’s seemed impossible but I’ve got here. I know me and I know where I belong and that’s at HEALS. The best thing is that I can use my own journey in my charity work to help others overcome adversity.

I’ve found myself and I feel stronger than ever. In my personal life I’m  surrounded by those with values like my own. Those in need are those I can help make a positive change. I’m no relationship frog be it personal or business and my life’s script is written for every new day.

When the light in you joins the light in another, you become one light in greater brilliance.

“When the light in you joins the light in another, you become one light in greater brilliance.”

This is true in many aspects of life, especially when it comes to building a business or charity because you need those around who share the vision, are able to stand back, see and understand the bigger picture and work together to achieve it.

For us at HEALS it’s about teamwork in helping everyone understand what we aim to do. However, I’m learning that while people want to be part of a team, very often its the few who end up doing the majority of the work. Perhaps those ‘standing back’ have not realized that  working together achieves amazing results for the team and those we reach out to support?

What is encouraging is the support you get from others who understand “what you’re about and trying to do.” At HEALS we’re coming across these people too, their support and feedback proves that we’re making a difference.

It’s not an easy road to success but then if it was would we appreciate it? There will always be things that go wrong. If we look at all those people we consider successful, we’ll see that the one thing they have in common is they fell, more than once. I’m sure they’d say they felt like giving up at some point, probably on more than one occasion ~ they didn’t, they got up and tried again.

I heard a marvelous lady, Margaret Carter from Patchwork Pates talking and she said that to be successful, you had to do your best in whatever you do but do it with passion, know your stuff, be tenacious, believe in yourself and give back to your community. I was sat there thinking ~ this is me and this is HEALS !!!

I’ve also learned that it’s important to surround yourself with like minded people and the power of networking. So you see when the light in you joins the light in another, you become one light in greater brilliance.

“I’ll be happy when… “

 

 

How often do we hear people say this? How often do we say it ourselves?

“I’ll be happy when I have a new car.”

“I’ll be happy when I get married.”

“I’ll be happy when I get a better job.”

“I’ll be happy when I move house.”

“I’ll be happy when I win the lottery!”

What we forget is that happiness is a choice, not an easy one, especially when we have outside pressures, trauma, worries or concerns to deal with. At times being happy seems to be the biggest challenge in life.

You’ve made the decision you want to be happy but how can you achieve it?

Set aside pettiness and non-important issues you may have with others. What if they can’t do the same? It’s their issue don’t retaliate just remember you’re a better person, move on and do your best to ignore their words and deeds. Others will always knock you and it’s hard when they do but life is for living.

Stop believing all the rubbish we tell ourselves about how we are a coward, lazy, not creative or unlucky. The truth is we all have talents, something to give, it’s about believing in what you can do or offer and that starts with believing in you.

Put your problems into context, there are far worse things in the world happening. Try your best to focus on where you want to be in life and keep going what you can to get there.

Tell the people you trust when you need help, or when you feel you’re depressed or you’re happy, share these times.  Don’t do what we all do at one time and another and play it cool and pretend we only care as much as the other person has admitted to caring, when we only open up half way. We need people to acknowledge us so we need to make sure that we acknowledge those that we care about those who are there for us.

Practice gratitude and do it often. Gratitude is what makes what we have enough. Gratitude is the most basic way to connect with that sense of being an integral part of the vastness of the universe.

Keep things simple, we’ll always face challenges and obstacles what we don’t need to do is create extra ones. Have you noticed what often seemed a small issue at the time, seems not to be when we look back? Being ‘in the moment’ magnifies things.

Admit your mistakes and errors and learn to apologize and be sincere about it. People think so much more of those who know they’ve done something wrong and are doing what they can to put it right.

The most important thing to being happy is to be kind. It costs nothing and pays dividends. It won’t help you save the whole world but it will make the lives of others better.  Be honest about being kind, those who are truly kind do it quietly, they do it for others and not themselves. If others acknowledge their kindness publically then show kindness by saying thanks. Lots of people get acknowledged for what they do and there will always be those, who want to use this negatively!

The biggest thing we can do in life is to extend love and kindness to others. Once we achieve this we know we have made a difference and are on the way  to changing the world and being happy.

Imagine …………………

Imagine how you would cope knowing you couldn’t support your child in a system that was letting them down?
Imagine being a vulnerable person confused, scared and feeling no one outside your family cared about you or your future?
Imagine thinking life had nothing to offer?
Imagine thinking about ending your life because that seemed your best option?
Imagine being a parent who was told the news that their child was gone?

The young person was WILL, RACHAEL & ASH are his parents ……… no one should ever think ending their life is the option and no parent should ever hear the news that their child is gone.

It’s a situation that seems to be more frequent than we might imagine !! Who would think that in this modern age and in a society that prides itself on equality, fairness and being inclusive, that this would be happening?

WILL FRIENDS can change this, we want to use WILL’s story to raise awareness of the difficulties faced by those with hidden disabilities and autism. We want to create a space where those who society lets fall through the gaps, can meet, feel safe and get advice.

The big challenge and question is how to raise the money to make it happen? So I end the day with no answer? Maybe tomorrow I’ll find the answer? Till then I’ll try and imagine …..

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com

 

The challenge of reaching out to those in need

In a conversation with a good friend recently we got talking about how things were going at HEALS and about how we could reach out to those in need. “Are there many in need in our community?” my friend asked. “You’d be shocked, I said” the reality I’ve come to realize is, that many of those we meet everyday are facing their own personal challenge/s in life and the challenge/s they face, may not always be the same at any one time.

Just because we get a happy face and a “hello” it doesn’t mean that everything’s really alright.

Yesterday, I heard the news that another person facing their own personal challenges ended their battle with life. Hearing this news is sad and upsetting, it’s a life wasted. I’ve been encouraged by the kind words of those who knew the person and I’ve been amazed by those who seek to discredit them in death for the things they got wrong in life.

Okay they made mistakes but can anyone honestly say that there are things that they’ve never done wrong. We’re human everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect and so standing in judgement of others is wrong. Everyone has the capacity to change their future and leave the unchangeable past behind. Doing it alone is not always possible.

What we should do is reach out, listen and offer to help. Having said that its only possible to help those who ask us to help. Of course in helping others there’s also the obstacle of trying to help people in need, in a system that seems at times to have more holes than a sieve.

Too many people seem to fall through the cracks and like this person the end result is unthinkable. Maneuvering the obstacle of the system is by far the biggest challenge.

People often say to me why can’t you or HEALS help? The truth is in order to help, we need expert partners and money to train a team. We have the partners and are working on developing more partners. By far our biggest challenge raising funds.

People ask where the family and friends are when tragedy happens. The truth is that even those who we love and love us, are also powerless to give the help needed sometimes.

The vision is for HEALS is to be able to reach out to all those in need. We may not always have the answers but we’ll give it a go and we’ll do our best to raise awareness of those who slip through the net.

If you’re reading this and you want to help us to help, encourage and support others, then why not make a donation? Please contact HEALS via the website http://www.heals.btck.co.uk

What goes around, comes around! – Are there really bad people out there?

Can it really be that if you do something bad to someone, you’ll get something bad in return? Or is it reality that life has good and bad in it and things we have a challenge to deal with. Perhaps, we convince ourselves that those who hurt us will get hurt because there is a need deep inside to feel like justice has been delivered.

I guess the bottom line is those who continue to make the lives of others difficult, will one day have someone make their life difficult too. Hopefully this will help them realize the outcome of their own actions against others. Sadly this isn’t always true and there are individuals who seem to get pleasure in making the life of others hard.

What does this say about them? Are these really ‘bad’ people? Could it be that some people have been so hurt they seek revenge? I know there have been times in my life that I’ve been at that point. Thankfully, for me I had friends and family to get me through. In my experience acting on revenge doesn’t make you feel any happier, in fact if anything it makes you feel worse, so there’s really no point in it at all.

Are there bad people at all or is just good people who makes mistakes? I prefer to think this. In my own experience those who behave in a negative way constantly to others are either sad in their own lives or it could be that in pointing out their perceived wrong doing in others lives is deflecting from the wrong things they are doing. So instead of being angry, we should try to be understanding, not always easy especially if you’re on the end of their behaviour! It’s best to work to draw a line in the sand and leave the past and hurt behind you. If others are happy on the roundabout of blame, misery and negativity, leave them there, after all its their choice!

Life is too short to choose a negative path. What is true is that you get out of life more of what you put in! If you live trying to do what’s good and right and are always honest and true to yourself then this will be what others see and then just maybe, others will be good to you. There are no guarantees in life and life comes with no guarantee or exchange voucher!

So live the life you want to live, what comes around goes around, maybe but if you’re true to yourself and others, life will more likely have better times.

Being honest with yourself and keeping your integrity

What does integrity mean? The dictionary definition is “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness”.

For a long time I found being honest and keeping my integrity difficult. Not so much for myself but because it seemed that others wanted me to go against what I believed and fit in with their ideas, which has never sat comfortably with me. It seemed that ‘fitting’ into society was the most important thing and what you thought didn’t matter.

I remember an occasion when sticking to my principles actually resulted in my having long term health  issues, this then led to me not being able to continue in my job. At the time I did wish, [for the briefest of moments] that I’d not bothered. Thank goodness, I stuck to my principles. In the long run, life has proved that its  been better and life has dealt me much better cards.

I see lots of people who say one thing one day and then change their view later not because its what they truly believe but rather because they want what they want!

I recall working with in a community organisation and some of those involved did not want to engage with what they perceived as a ‘religious’ group/organisation. In reality the people running the group were Christians but their work wasn’t anything to do with religion at all, it was about doing something positive in the community for others.

One person even wrote a string of emails berating these ‘religious’ people and threatened to resign if the community organisation proceeded to work with them. Others sent similar emails too. Obviously, I thought at the time these people had a strong view about this as resigning isn’t something you do lightly. What amazes me is after all those emails and threats these same individuals are now asking people to pray for others and whilst they refused to work with the other organisation, they’re now working with actual church centered groups. Confused? I know I am! Where was the honesty and integrity? Did it exist at all?

Of course people change their opinions about aspects in life but you never change or should never become dishonest with yourself or lose your integrity. Once you do that, you instantly lose the ability to be honest with others, how can anyone ever trust you? Trust is the foundation for everything we do and it starts the minute we’re born and its built on honesty and integrity.

Recently I was at an event and one of the speakers was talking about honesty and integrity in business. They said that when looking at our business and considering what success means for us in business, we should also be clear and honest about who we are and what we do? They said that we should ask ourselves, ‘what are your boundaries in business?’ This really struck a cord with me and I took this message on board and thought long and hard about it. The result was a change in approach, without being dishonest about who HEALS are and what they want to achieve. Its given us a stronger focus to deliver tangible change. We must be doing something right because partnerships are growing and becoming stronger. So being honest with yourself and keeping your integrity is important, hold onto yours and you’ll never fail.

“When life changes, you can either go with the flow or fight upstream. ~ Betsy Otter Thompson”

Life is always changing, sometimes its like being on a roller-coaster with so many ups and downs and how we deal with the things that are thrown at us, begins with us. We can either go with the flow or fight upstream. Sometimes going with the flow is best, especially if doing so leads to peace and tranquility in our lives and diminishes conflict.

At other times in our lives we need to fight upstream, for the things we believe in and know to be right. Sometimes in my work its about challenging to ensure that those in need get the right help and support they need. Often its much harder than I’d ever imagine but giving up is not an option, well not for me anyway!

I’ve certainly had times I’ve gone with the flow although I seem to have spent many years more fighting upstream for myself or someone else. I guess I never quite got the meaning of the word no! As a teen this got me into trouble with my parents and in my adult years its got me into trouble because rather than go with the flow, doing the right thing has been more important and that’s often meant fighting upstream, which hasn’t been always appreciated by others!

I look back over my forty years on the planet and I can think of many situations that have made me take a step back because they’ve been unexpected. Some have been filled with pain and hurt and others were filled with goodness and kindness. So “when life changes, you can either go with the flow or fight upstream.”