Monthly Archives: February 2014

Your present situation is not your final destination because the best is yet to come!

Your present situation is not your final destination because the best is yet to come!

In fact we are the authors of our own life stories and just like any good ‘read’ our lives are filled with happy and sad events, times of laughter and times of struggle. For some the times of struggle are more than we can comprehend. I often think of people overcoming struggles as being like salmon swimming upstream. Are they going in the wrong direction or are they finding their own way.

I remember my Grandfather saying ” you’ve got to find your own way in life” and I used to think ‘what does he mean? I look back now and I realise that what he was really saying was, that I had to make choices that felt right. As it happens it’s sound advice but making choices about what felt right has also got me into trouble or not turned out the way I had hoped. I now use those negative experiences as stepping stones to something even better!

How many of us get pushed along dancing to someone else’s tune? This is different from guidance or advice because those offering you that do so out of a sense of care. Those pushing us along do so for their own reasons. This is why it’s important to have a firm plan and focus in business. In my experience being strategic is about three things:

1. Staying focused ~ know where your going, understand what the outcomes are but also recognise what they will actually look like. Too often we start in business and suddenly become vague about everything to do with that business. Are we vague in our personal lives? Of course not so why do it with our businesses? Be clear about what you are aiming to achieve, what you’re offering and how you are unique!

2. Seeing the bigger picture ~ this is more than being strategic focusing on the horizon, it’s about being able to see things from above. What makes our business different? Why should people choose us? What exactly are we offering? Strangely, I meet successful business people who seem unable to apply these principles to their personal lives?

3. Being able to assess the risk and manage success ~ this might seem odd but like anything in life, things unexpectedly happen! Things can go wrong, you can come up against an obstacle or things can become so successful, you’re swept along through success.

I’ve been on this very journey building HEALS (Help Empowerment And Local Support) and in my persoanl life too. There have been times I’ve doubted decisions, times when things have just seemed too far out of reach. There’ve also been other times when success has swept me along. It’s at these times I’ve had to apply the brakes, take a step back and reassess the direction. We should all do an assessment exercise in our business. I find it strange that people put together a business/strategic plan, write a governing document and then proceed to leave it on a shelf never to be looked at again. Then they wonder why it all goes/went wrong!

They’ve forgotten one important thing and that is their present situation is not their destination because their best is yet to come!

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com

http://www.heals.btck.co.uk

“Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones. Never regret. If it’s good it’s wonderful, if it’s bad it’s experience.”

“Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones. Never regret. If it’s good it’s wonderful, if it’s bad it’s experience.”

Over the years I’ve met a number of individuals who seem unable to move their lives forward because of their mistakes or something that went wrong or because something they had no control over has made them feel inadequate. The truth is it’s life, everyone faces these situations at sometime or other.

No-one is perfect and until we accept and learn to love ourselves for who we are, moving forward for some will remain an uphill struggle.

So how is it some people do and become successful? What sets those people apart is the ability to learn from every situation whether they be positive or negative.

There have been a number of times in my life when I’ve felt that was it, I couldn’t go on and I couldn’t see how I’d ever get back up but I did. I look at my life today and realise that I’m more resilient than I thought I was. I could have accepted the stereotypical ‘label’ placed on me by society – I was a single mother therefore, I wasn’t going to succeed and neither were my children. For many years this is what I expected and this is what I got! I now realise that whatever you strive for you can achieve but you have to be motivated, want it, see it and plan for it. You may not reach it the first time but you will achieve and you will be successful.

I am always amazed when I speak to successful people because the result isn’t always what they expected, in many cases it’s better! This is exactly how I feel! I knew I’d be doing the kind of work I do now but I didn’t think that starting and building a charity would be quite so exciting and rewarding.

Carrying your mistakes around with you weighs you down. I often liken it to Marley in the Dickens classic Scrooge. In death he carried around this huge chain, not being able to move forward. Carrying our mistakes is a bit like that too because we can end up carrying around our own invisable chain, which prevents us from being happy and it makes those around us unhappy too.

So, look at your own life and don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones. Never regret. If it’s good it’s wonderful, if it’s bad it’s experience.

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com

http://www.heals.btck.co.uk

The way to happiness!

Why is it that many of us go through life seeking the approval of others? Do we really need the approval of others to be happy? Of course we don’t! So why do it?

We all face heartache, disaster, life changes and losing loved ones, I know I’ve faced these too. At times I thought I’d never be able to go on but I got up and moved forward.

I’m often amazed at those who seek a partner who will ‘make them happy!’ Whenever I hear this I want to say, “expecting someone else to make you happy, is setting them up to fail” because happiness comes from within yourself. If you are content and happy, then you’ll attract others who are happy too.

We talk of finding happiness yet it’s there if we choose it. The way to happiness is to:

Believe in yourself – every one of us is unique, we all have things we’re good at and things we’re not so good at. There’ll be things we need to learn or improve. Being happy is understanding and learning to live and love who we are. Be confident in what you bring to the party of life!

Be kind to others – if you can do one act of kindness every day you’ll find that the happiness follows you. ‘Whatever you give out comes back to you twofold’ was the message my late Nan used to say and she was right. Making others happy gives a feeling of wellbeing that is so amazing, it can’t be put into words. This is why I’m Manager of HEALS!

Live by your values – set yourself values in your personal and professional lives. Don’t let others try to move or distract you from these values because if you live by these, you’ll be a shining example to others.

Reach for your dreams – remember that even those we consider as successful haven’t always been so. What sets them apart is the tenacity to get back up after each knockback. Newsflash! – everyone has knockbacks and challenges to face, so set yourself apart and face them head on!

Always think positively – every situation we face, be it our personal or professional life is a gift, even the low times! The challenge is finding and recognising this and that’s not easy to do. I’ve found myself facing challenges that I thought could never be solved but they were and I did! When this happens it helps us develop and it enriches our lives.

Keep your head high – the advert says ‘because you’re worth it’ and this is right. No-one has more worth than another! So no matter what keep your head high and show the world that you’re a winner and that you’re worth it too.

Being happy in life is essential for your own wellbeing both personally and professionally life – so start today to find the way to happiness.

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com

http://www.heals.btck.co.uk