Wills Friends – The Impossible Dream

Wills Friends is a charitable project which has been over a year in the making. At times its felt like it would never happen, but now there’s no going back now, we’re on the way !!

I’ve been inspired by the words of encouragement and the support myself, Will’s parents and the Heals team have had for this work. I’m amazed that we’ve sold 200 balloons, let’s hope we reach another 100 by our cut off day – 1st September 2013. Plans for our charity gig are progressing well too and you can feel the buzz in the air.

Recently, I’ve been watching a TV programme about Britain in 1949. I’ve been surprised to find that back then much was done to help people with disabilities into work. For me, we can learn a lot from the actions and ethos of the day. I guess, however, even then hidden disabilities were not recognized. Even today parents struggle to get a diagnosis. Is it any wonder that some parents, find it so overwhelming that the mountain just seems too high to climb. 

We purport to understand disabilities, we say what an inclusive society we are, we learn about equality and diversity in schools and we even have legislation to protect those disabilities. Why then do we not encourage those with hidden disabilities to use their talents in our community and the workplace.

Will was one example of this. At home he was loved and supported, during his time at special school he achieved. He went to college and approached every new opportunity with enthusiasm. When he said “I want to join the army” someone should have stepped in and explained why that couldn’t be. Someone, anyone should have shown this young man his unique talents, given him realistic choices, inspired him but no-one did. He was left to follow a dream and at the end he was told that his dream would never be. Will was given false hope. Instead of encouraging, he was discouraged, he never realized his own potential and now he never will.

Together and through Wills Friends we can change this, we can do this and change lives.

I’m proud that Heals is an organisation that truly includes everyone. Members within our team have overcome much in their individual lives and can share this within the team. This means that Heals as an organisation can truly understand the struggles, those we help, encourage and support face.

As I prepare for the day, I look forward to a lunch meeting which I hope will also add value to this project. Creating is something I enjoy but seeing achievements through this project will be the single thing that’ll make it worthwhile. I hope that Will is proud of what we are doing in his memory and to make a real difference.

See your own potential and you’ll succeed

I remember someone saying this to me a long time ago and at the time I thought to myself ‘yeah okay as if I can ever succeed at anything!’ I was so wrong and if I could go back now, I’d seriously have a stern word with myself for even thinking that.

I always found myself getting frustrated by the achievements of others, not because I wanted to be seen or be them but rather because I needed to know that I could be good at something. On the outside people saw this loud individual who was the life and soul of the party. To them that equaled confidence. The person on the inside couldn’t have been more different. I’d look at others and think ‘if only I could do that’, ‘have that’, ‘be that person’. When I realized I couldn’t I’d get angry or upset, with myself, with them, with others or in general. This didn’t make me happy, if anything it made me even more unhappy. All the time I was looking at what others had or did and this stopped me focusing on who I was and what I could achieve.

Over the years I’ve learnt and worked at accepting who I am. I’ve also been lucky enough to have those who’ve encouraged and supported me too. They saw what I couldn’t and when I did begin to see it myself the achievements followed.

Today I work with some amazing people and I have wonderful friends. What frustrates me now is finding a way of helping others see their potential. Helping them focus and believe in themselves because I do. Society seems to work in a negative way today. Why is it the focus always seems to be on what people can’t do, instead of what they can? Why is it that in our time of diversity and acceptance, some people still look down on others?

What we should be doing is leading the way and showing everyone what they can achieve. A wise friend tells me that some people ‘don’t have a clue’ about the hardship some face and you know, I think they’re right.

So lead the way and show others how to reach their potential, see your own potential and you’ll succeed too.

What goes around, comes around! – Are there really bad people out there?

Can it really be that if you do something bad to someone, you’ll get something bad in return? Or is it reality that life has good and bad in it and things we have a challenge to deal with. Perhaps, we convince ourselves that those who hurt us will get hurt because there is a need deep inside to feel like justice has been delivered.

I guess the bottom line is those who continue to make the lives of others difficult, will one day have someone make their life difficult too. Hopefully this will help them realize the outcome of their own actions against others. Sadly this isn’t always true and there are individuals who seem to get pleasure in making the life of others hard.

What does this say about them? Are these really ‘bad’ people? Could it be that some people have been so hurt they seek revenge? I know there have been times in my life that I’ve been at that point. Thankfully, for me I had friends and family to get me through. In my experience acting on revenge doesn’t make you feel any happier, in fact if anything it makes you feel worse, so there’s really no point in it at all.

Are there bad people at all or is just good people who makes mistakes? I prefer to think this. In my own experience those who behave in a negative way constantly to others are either sad in their own lives or it could be that in pointing out their perceived wrong doing in others lives is deflecting from the wrong things they are doing. So instead of being angry, we should try to be understanding, not always easy especially if you’re on the end of their behaviour! It’s best to work to draw a line in the sand and leave the past and hurt behind you. If others are happy on the roundabout of blame, misery and negativity, leave them there, after all its their choice!

Life is too short to choose a negative path. What is true is that you get out of life more of what you put in! If you live trying to do what’s good and right and are always honest and true to yourself then this will be what others see and then just maybe, others will be good to you. There are no guarantees in life and life comes with no guarantee or exchange voucher!

So live the life you want to live, what comes around goes around, maybe but if you’re true to yourself and others, life will more likely have better times.

Being honest with yourself and keeping your integrity

What does integrity mean? The dictionary definition is “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness”.

For a long time I found being honest and keeping my integrity difficult. Not so much for myself but because it seemed that others wanted me to go against what I believed and fit in with their ideas, which has never sat comfortably with me. It seemed that ‘fitting’ into society was the most important thing and what you thought didn’t matter.

I remember an occasion when sticking to my principles actually resulted in my having long term health  issues, this then led to me not being able to continue in my job. At the time I did wish, [for the briefest of moments] that I’d not bothered. Thank goodness, I stuck to my principles. In the long run, life has proved that its  been better and life has dealt me much better cards.

I see lots of people who say one thing one day and then change their view later not because its what they truly believe but rather because they want what they want!

I recall working with in a community organisation and some of those involved did not want to engage with what they perceived as a ‘religious’ group/organisation. In reality the people running the group were Christians but their work wasn’t anything to do with religion at all, it was about doing something positive in the community for others.

One person even wrote a string of emails berating these ‘religious’ people and threatened to resign if the community organisation proceeded to work with them. Others sent similar emails too. Obviously, I thought at the time these people had a strong view about this as resigning isn’t something you do lightly. What amazes me is after all those emails and threats these same individuals are now asking people to pray for others and whilst they refused to work with the other organisation, they’re now working with actual church centered groups. Confused? I know I am! Where was the honesty and integrity? Did it exist at all?

Of course people change their opinions about aspects in life but you never change or should never become dishonest with yourself or lose your integrity. Once you do that, you instantly lose the ability to be honest with others, how can anyone ever trust you? Trust is the foundation for everything we do and it starts the minute we’re born and its built on honesty and integrity.

Recently I was at an event and one of the speakers was talking about honesty and integrity in business. They said that when looking at our business and considering what success means for us in business, we should also be clear and honest about who we are and what we do? They said that we should ask ourselves, ‘what are your boundaries in business?’ This really struck a cord with me and I took this message on board and thought long and hard about it. The result was a change in approach, without being dishonest about who HEALS are and what they want to achieve. Its given us a stronger focus to deliver tangible change. We must be doing something right because partnerships are growing and becoming stronger. So being honest with yourself and keeping your integrity is important, hold onto yours and you’ll never fail.

“When life changes, you can either go with the flow or fight upstream. ~ Betsy Otter Thompson”

Life is always changing, sometimes its like being on a roller-coaster with so many ups and downs and how we deal with the things that are thrown at us, begins with us. We can either go with the flow or fight upstream. Sometimes going with the flow is best, especially if doing so leads to peace and tranquility in our lives and diminishes conflict.

At other times in our lives we need to fight upstream, for the things we believe in and know to be right. Sometimes in my work its about challenging to ensure that those in need get the right help and support they need. Often its much harder than I’d ever imagine but giving up is not an option, well not for me anyway!

I’ve certainly had times I’ve gone with the flow although I seem to have spent many years more fighting upstream for myself or someone else. I guess I never quite got the meaning of the word no! As a teen this got me into trouble with my parents and in my adult years its got me into trouble because rather than go with the flow, doing the right thing has been more important and that’s often meant fighting upstream, which hasn’t been always appreciated by others!

I look back over my forty years on the planet and I can think of many situations that have made me take a step back because they’ve been unexpected. Some have been filled with pain and hurt and others were filled with goodness and kindness. So “when life changes, you can either go with the flow or fight upstream.”

Competition or Collaboration?

Collaboration and partnership are two of the strongest components of any organisation or business. Developing partnerships is always exciting because it enables more people to access what you do.

Why is it then that not everyone recognizes the possibilities of what can be achieved together? It seems that some people see competition while others see the opportunity for collaboration.  In the last few years I’ve observed the negative side of this and I don’t understand the logic. I’ve also experienced the positive too.

One example of negativity is two community organisations, both want to make their community a better place to live and in this they share an aim. However, their work and approaches are different. Collaboration and partnership would certainly seem to benefit the community. What’s sad is that only one organisation recognizes this. The other sees competition and embarks on a campaign to discredit the other organisation.

Think of how many people they could help? What about the time being wasted on the part of the organisation being negative? It just doesn’t make sense. Now  consider the possibilities of what they could achieve through working in partnership and through collaboration. Think of how much good they could do in their community if they worked together?

One example of collaboration and partnership at its best is a business club and a networking club promoting one another and inviting their members to one another’s events where they talked about ‘their offer’.

Now to some this might seem like madness. Actually although there were similarities, there were just as many differences and both organisations and their members benefited from their approach.

As Heals Manager, I recognize the importance of collaboration and partnership and feel sad when faced with those who don’t.  We work in collaboration and partnership with others because we believe that the principles and practice of shared commitment between partners benefits everyone. Whilst we are proud of what we do, we understand that certain work needs to be done by the ‘expert’ in that field.

The fantastic news for Heals is that our partnerships continue to grow and this means we can make a real difference in the community and to the lives of those we reach.

So next time you get into ‘competition mode’ get yourself into ‘collaboration mode’ instead. Think of the possibilities and most of all be creative about ways you can work with others because you’ll find that success follows.

The juggling plates !!!

Do you ever have those moments or days when you just seem to be juggling doing loads of different things? Do you ever get those moments or days when just as you complete one task thinking that’s it you find that you’re asked to do something else? Funnily enough just recently I’ve felt just like that !!

Being Manager of a charity means meeting so many different tasks and deadlines and when I say different, I mean different !! Of course the stereotypical saying would be “women are used to multitasking” the honest truth is managing is the same for everyone and Managers everywhere, like me are juggling many plates. My Nan used to say “it’s better to be busy it keeps you from getting into trouble“.

“Oh Nan, keeping busy seems to get me into more trouble these days !!!” Mind you trouble these days usually means challenging those who are just not helping and supporting those they should or having to deal with the Green Gremlins [those who are jealous] and there are a few. However, as I’ve often said I am Marmite so what else can I expect !!

Running a home and family single alone as a single parent also requires a lot of multitasking too. You no sooner finish one job that you find something else needs your attention. I’ve achieved that with success, so I’m probably well prepared for the road ahead.

I guess thinking of it this way, the job of Manager at Heals suits me !! Would I change it? Never! I can honestly say that I have the best job in the world and the best bit is knowing and seeing others grow and achieve.

It’s all systems go at the moment for Heals. We’re working hard to get our new National Charity launched, then there’s the work on putting the finishing touches to our four core projects, organizing our stalls at Petticoat Lane, for Malmesbury Carnival and our Balloon Race to launch Will’s Friends in September. This means so much not only to all of us at heals but to Will’s family and those we can help, encourage and support through it. We want this to change lives for the better.

What other plates am I and the team juggling? The new logo designs for Heals and our strategic projects, the governance work. I mustn’t forget our music night with The Accused, who are coming up from Weston to support us and raise money for Heals and Will’s Friends and finally some top secret stuff.  It’s certainly a lot of plates but success at the end will be worth it all.

So what does success look like? For me its two fold, its about having a charity people want to connect with, support, work with, volunteer for and its also about changing lives for those in need in the community and its “aspiring to make a difference and be the difference” both within the team and the community. It’s a tall order but I have a fabulous team, great experts, good support nationally and locally and the belief that we can do this and pull out something amazing.

So for my next trick as Manager of Heals ……………..

 

 

All I can say about life is … enjoy it!

Reach for the positives everyday because there will always be some. Negatives are positives turned inside out so we just have to find a way to turn them the right way around.

Is this easy? Of course not, especially on days where everything seems to go wrong or daily life and issues  get you down. Everything in life requires work and the more we put in the more we get out. I was reminded of this today when I read the press releases about HEALS Will’s Friends Project and the realization that out of real tragedy comes hope and an opportunity to change lives for the better. It’s days like these that I know I’m enjoying life.

I’m finding that being positive and being clear about direction is leading to opportunities I never imagined and its helping me grow personally and professionally. After all, if you don’t know where you’re going or have a clear vision about what success looks like for you, how do you know when you’ve got there?

For us at HEALS this has been the one question we’ve struggled to answer. For us our direction, who we are and what’s our purpose has been a real challenge. At first it was about raising awareness that we even existed! Now its about building on the foundation and setting the strategic direction for the future. Being the Manager of a great charity is so rewarding and unlike many jobs, its something I love but its certainly not always plain sailing, it can be hectic! However, our four strategic projects will bring help, encouragement and support to so many people and knowing this drives me and the team forward. It goes without saying knowing this helps us enjoy life and we hope that those who gain from our work can and will enjoy their lives too .

We are looking to our future positively and have taken the 7 P’s seriously. What’s the 7 P’s? It’s ” Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance” and we approach everything we do in this way. A few days ago someone said “have you taken your eye off the ball cos you haven’t had any events for ages” of course we haven’t but then the foundation and groundwork is something that often goes unnoticed or with little interest but it’s needed if you want your organisation to stand the test of time.

So face each day with a positive thought and end each day with a positive reflection and you’ll be able to say, I enjoy life.