What kind of society are we becoming? Which Scrooge are you?

What kind of society are we becoming? Which Scrooge are you?

Through my work I’m helping and supporting so many people each facing challenges that the rest of us could never imagine. There are those having their benefits reduced because of a DWP mistakes years ago (sometimes more than four years ago). Should anyone be without money because of a mistake beyond their control?

There are those without any money for up to twenty six weeks, those with disabilities that have never been recognised trying to navigate the road that is life made even more difficult because of their disability.
The homeless ex-serviceman, discharged on medical grounds, the parents of a child with a learning disability that no one seems to be listening to! The list goes on and on!

Should anyone today have to live like this today? Have we really learnt nothing? The truth is as a society we’re spoon fed the media version of life and like fools this is what people believe. The reality is lost! Are we immune to really caring? What kind of society are we becoming? Do we only care when we can be publicly seen to care? What’s happened to our sense of being responsibility for one another?

“Look after our own first,” is the cry I often hear! Who do the people saying this think should be doing this? Are they in fact doing it themselves or are these words for others to do it instead? The truth is we should all look out for one another!

“Charity begins at home!” Is this a justification of not to give or do we mean we should look after our neighbours and fellow citizens because they are the nearest?

Through my charity work I’ve out a number of public appeals, which for the most part have been successful however, they’ve also been seen by some as an opportunity to offload junk rather than really help! It’s the reality! For every person publicly helped, there’s ten who aren’t!

This weekend I’ve read about a charity that’s closing due to lack of support and the business support dwindling. We live in difficult times but kindness costs nothing, having a heart costs nothing. We can give our money but we can also give our time too!

One of my favourite Christmas stories is A Christmas Carol where the main character Scrooge changes the person he is in time for Christmas. Do we resemble Scrooge before the change? Are we just self, self, self?

In the words of ‘Scrooge’ in the modern film ‘Scrooged'(based on ‘A Christmas Carol’):

“Christmas Eve is the one night of the year where we act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the year we are the people that we always hoped we’d be. It’s a miracle …..”

“You have to do something, you have to take a chance, you do have to get involved. There are people having trouble making their miracle happen. There are people who don’t have enough to eat, there are people who are cold. You could go out and say hello to these people, you could take them a blanket, make them a sandwich and say oh by the way, here.”

“I get it now and if you give then it can happen, then the miracle can happen to you. It’s not just the poor and hungry its everybody, who’s got to have this miracle and it can happen tonight for all of you, if you believe, then this miracle will happen and you’ll want it to happen everyday ………”

“You’ve just got to want that feeling and if you like it and you want it, you’ll get greedy for it and you’ll want it every day for the rest of your life ….”

What kind of society are we becoming? Which Scrooge are you? Only you the reader can answer this question and only you are responsible for the choices and decisions you make! Christmas is around the corner, use this time to start afresh; be the Scrooge who found a heart and the true meaning of Christmas.

https://www.gofundme.com/healsxmaswinappeal

http://www.healsmalmesbury.com

Can anyone really be isolated? It’s the 21st Century!

Can anyone really be isolated? It’s the 21st Century! According to the dictionary to be isolated is to be: far away from places, buildings or people or minimal contact.

The simple answer is yes! Think of the people you passed on the street, those you stood behind in a queue at the shops, banks or at the bus stop, you’ll probably find at least one feels isolated. It could be the older lady or man living alone, the single parent, those who’ve suffered a crime or Domestic Violence, the families at work struggling to make ends meet or just cover the cost of things, the people who’ve lost a loved one and who are struggling with their grief, those who care for loved ones, those in poverty, those who have no place to call their own, those with disabilities or Autism or who are vulnerable and the servicemen and women who feel lost having left the services due to ill health or having suffered injury serving our country.

These are the people we meet on the street everyday. These are the people we walk past every day, the people we don’t notice, thus reinforcing their feelings of isolation or even worse these are the people who we allow to be bullied, intimidated or treated badly because after all ‘its not our problem’ its their life!

What you probably don’t realise or may have never thought about is one day without warning you could be isolated just like them. Its easy to get a warm fuzzy feeling about putting a tin, packet of pasta or box of breakfast cereal or bottle in a basket. And its easy to feel good that you’ve put your loose change in a charity box. Of course both of these go a long way to help people and because of they do, we should continue to do them because every small thing we do today will help someone tomorrow.

Christmas is fast approaching its the season of goodwill to all. For many it will be a season of happiness, presents, time shared with loved ones, great expense and over indulgence. For others it is yet another reminder of what they don’t have and why they feel isolated.

When you live in a rural community where the cost of living is higher, where public transport does not run regularly, the feeling of isolation is worse! There are reminders of things you want to be involved in but are isolated from. I see this every day and whilst the numbers in comparison to the population might be low, their need is great. Think about them, especially this Christmas. What would you do if you were them? Our lives can change in an instance without warning!

The reality of the modern age is, we can’t help everyone. If can do one small but extra thing this Christmas to make a significant thing you’ll have done something that will help another. If you’re not in a position to help then please support those who are helping by donating, supporting an event, visiting someone you think may be in need or volunteering.

Can anyone really be isolated? It’s the 21st Century! Yes they can but by being the difference you’ll make a difference.

https://www.gofundme.com/healsxmaswinappeal

What would Dickens say today?

What would Dickens say today?

In the last few days my youngest daughter (Alex) and I had the privilege of meeting Matthew in London. Matthew is homeless, he grew up in care, left care at 16, went to college and successfully became a plumber. Matthew felt he’d achieved something, he told us he was proud of who he’d become. He met a young lady and had a daughter. Life seemed perfect for Matthew, life couldn’t get any better! His young daughter became ill and Matthew couldn’t cope with the prospect of this and after his daughter passed away aged 6 years, his partner asked him to leave the family home. She couldn’t deal with her own grief and Matthews too so Matthew found himself homeless, on the streets with no one to support him! He lost the job he’d worked so hard to get and was proud of, he’d lost his daughter and his home! Matthew felt low. He’s contemplated giving up on life but despite everything he wants to prove he can achieve once again.

He told us that two years ago while he was still in grief he had a brief relationship with a homeless girl who had his son. She got off the streets and has a home. She didn’t want Matthew to live with her because he was still not emotionally ready and the authorities wouldn’t let Matthew move with her and so she now brings his son to visit London once a month.

Matthew is desperate for someone to give him a chance. He can’t get a job, claim benefits or register with a GP/Dentist because he has no home! He told us that he doesn’t want to claim benefits, he desperately wants to work! He wants to be someone, a someone who helps others! It struck us that despite what life had thrown at him, here he was wanting to give to others. We admired that strength and courage.

Alex and I took him to somewhere to eat as our guest. The server looked at Matthew and started to say “we don’t serve ….” I stopped her and told her that Matthew was my guest, I was spending my money and she was going to serve me or I would make a scene! I reminded her that Matthew is a person and he deserves the same respect and customer service as any other customer! Needless to say she could tell, I meant it! She continued to stare as did many others but we didn’t care.

Matthew had a drink, a burger and fries. He ate everything including the garnish salad and pickle! I’ve never seen a human devour food like he did, a starving dog but not a human being. Matthew told us very few people were kind to him, even those who give him money don’t speak to him! People walked past every day. It got me thinking about each of us in our daily lives, how many of us walk past people not ever knowing or caring what life is about for them. Have we really become a society that doesn’t care? I’d like to think not!

Matthew told us how well meaning people are giving out items like soap, toothbrushes, food etc. I learnt from him that without a place to go these items although well meaning were useless but that he could sell them for money for food.

Matthew also shared the horror stories of life on the streets. How he’s seen friends die, of the people who encourage the homeless to deal drugs for more money and a place to stay, how people abuse those who are homeless by kicking them or throwing buckets of cold water over them, to listen to Matthew was heart breaking and it was difficult to hold back the tears! He was determined that the drugs people weren’t going to ‘use him’ and to avoid them he moves around! He’d thought about getting a dog because they help keep the homeless warm, they offer companionship and because friends who had dogs were given more money from people passing. Matthew went to Battersea but they said no! Matthew shared how he’d asked local gyms if he could use their showers to wash, even offering to pay, he was turned down! You didn’t need much to realise that Matthew probably hadn’t washed in weeks even months but Alex and I didn’t care.

We gave Matthew food, our small change and most importantly we gave him our time! On these cold nights, I’ve thought about Matthew often and all those whose lives are just like him. We all live on the edge in life and in an instance any one of us could find ourselves facing adversity. Imagine what would happen if each one of us helped someone like Matthew every single day? A word of kindness, companionship, support, these things aren’t big but to someone like Matthew they mean the world.

Matthew would love to get out of London and start afresh but let’s face it, he’s never going to be able to. He’s trapped on a never ending merry go round of poverty and despair! Moved on from tourist places because heaven forbid they see the reality of our country!

Matthew is looking forward to Christmas Eve because then Church Halls and community centres across London open their doors and give the homeless, fresh clothes, bathing facilities, a piece of foam to lay their sleeping bags on, new sleeping bags and clothes if they need it and three hot meals a day. On January 2nd Matthew will be back on the streets, living an unbearable life but hoping that someone, one day will just give him a chance!

Why do I do what I do? Why did I set up HEALS of Malmesbury? To help all those like Matthew, those who struggle, those whose lives are difficult. If there were no HEALS I’d still help when I could. My mother tells me, it’s been who I am all my life!

Both Alex and I left Matthew with tears in our eyes and sadness in our hearts. No one should have to endure this hardship, not in this country in 2016! This is why HEALS exists! You can help by donating your time or money to HEALS or any other charity helping today!

What would Dickens say today? I think he’d be horrified! At least in his day there were places for the poor! These no longer exist and where they do they are over subscribed with people to help! So the next time you walk down the street, think about those you pass. We all live on the edge, in an instance we can be like Matthew, let’s hope unlike Matthew, there’s someone there to help!

http://www.healsmalmesbury.com

Is it fair? ~ Do you care?

Is it fair? Do you care?

The Disability Discrimination Act and the Equality Legislation are there to protect the most vulnerable people and ensure fairness. Why then does it appear that some are falling through the cracks? Why is it that some people with a learning disability and Autism seem to be being penalised for their disability? Some are even having their benefits sanctioned leaving them without an income for long periods of time. Why, because their disability hasn’t been recognised properly or has gone unrecognised.

Life is difficult enough for these individuals. Many are living a life of isolation right under our noses in our communities. Life in the community goes on and they go unnoticed. The consequences can be devastating and some are not here today as a result! How can this be happening in the 21st century in our towns and villages?

What can be done to change this? Getting a diagnosis is a good place to start! However, this is not something provided by the NHS because it’s not a health issue. Learning disability can only be diagnosed by Educational Pyscologists and therefore, it’s an education issue. The cost of an assessment ranges from £500 to £750 per person!

Wear the shoes of someone with a learning disability or Autism. Imagine being given the impossible task of proving your disability, when day to day living is enough of a challenge in itself. All they need is reasonable adjustments made to ensure they get the right daily support, the right benefits, the proper housing support and the best path into work or volunteering!

Where does anyone start? There are so few charities and organisations being able to offer support in getting a diagnosis but HEALS of Malmesbury is one doing just that! Enabling and supporting people to get a diagnosis is important but with numbers of people needing this growing, funds need to grow too in order that some of the most vulnerable get the help to live the best life they can.

“Never believe that a few caring people can change the world. For indeed, that’s all who ever have” Margaret Mead

Are you one of the few who can change the world for those who need help, empowerment and support in our communities today? Ask yourself is it fair? Do you care? If the answer is yes then maybe you can help by making a donation.

http://www.healsmalmesbury.com

“We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already…” -J.K. Rowling

“We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already…”

As I look around it’s clear to see that the countdown to Christmas has begun. Growing up I loved watching the Christmas Films, my all time favourite being A Christmas Carol. I think this film, my family and growing up in Cardiff made me realise at a young age that there are those in need. I’d often be Christmas shopping and we’d pass by someone who was homeless and it affected me. It still does and today I realise and understand even more.

Only recently on a trip home to Cardiff I passed someone homeless. I bought them a coffee and some food. You’d have thought I’d have given them the lottery winnings. However, need does not stay with the those who are homeless. For a huge number of people Christmas isn’t a time of happiness. We all have the power just like Scrooge to change because “we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already …”

Working at HEALS I seem to spend half my time crying or feeling frustrated (especially when I know I could help but am unable due to resources) and the rest happy knowing that in some small way a difference has been made.

A long time ago a wonderful gift arrived that first Christmas, one that gave humanity a yard stick to follow. As we all move towards Christmas let’s think of those who need help, let’s all do what we can no matter how big or small. We can all make a difference and we should remember that Christmas is about reaching out, it’s about sharing and it’s about love and remember no matter how hard things look, “we do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already…”

Merry Christmas to one and all.

http://www.healsmalmesbury.com

http://www.healsuk.co.uk

Those we fail today, we continue to fail time and time again!

Those we fail today, we continue to fail time and time again!

In the course of my work it never ceases to amaze me how we as society have and continue to fail others! We don’t seem to see it or are we choosing not to? On the outside we portray a society that cares, a society that accepts everyone ~ yet I see a different side of the coin!

Let me tell you about Dylan (named changed).

Some time ago I went to the jobcentre with someone I was supporting. On arrival I was aware of Dylan, he was shouting asking for help to fill in a form. Time and time again Dylan went to the desk to ask or help in completing a form so he could apply for money. Time and time again he was told that no-one could help him. Staff told him to go and call the advice line. Dylan tried to explain (in his own unique way) that he’d spent the two hours a day for the past two days on the phone getting nowhere! He wasn’t believed and the Jobcentre staff asked him to leave, the security guard was at the ready too!

What they saw was an angry young man, a nuisance, someone they could do without!

What I saw was someone desperate for help, someone trying to get their message across ~ should I offer my help was a question I didn’t have to answer, I knew already I would! I made a ‘deal’ that once I’d finished what I came to do, I’d sit down and help him with the form. The smile on Dylan’s face and the look of gratefulness in his eyes said everything.

He kept to his word and so did I!

Whilst filling in the form I realised that this wasn’t just a form filling situation, it was about much more.

Dylan was someone who’d been failed his whole life! His learning disability had failed to be recognised at school, except it had been but he had no clear diagnosis (label) and without this he and his family had failed to get the support they needed. Did Dylan’s disability go undiagnosed because of lack of money or was it he was deemed not worth investing in? I realised this was a young man who’s gone through the system failing at every step, thinking it was him when all the time it wasn’t! What cut through me was when Dylan said that dying seemed his best option! I tell you how I didn’t cry there and then! I knew that I had to do everything in my power to change this even if it meant more work, Dylan was far too important!

I stopped the form filling and arranged for him to come and see me as he didn’t have any money himself (because he hadn’t been paid benefits, because he couldn’t fill in the form), I gave him the money from my own pocket.

Since that first meeting I’ve got to know Dylan and what a great young man he is! He has a strong work ethic, he really wants to do something and be somebody. His issues have gone far beyond form filling or his undiagnosed disability, there’s debt, a feeling of worthlessness, the list seemed endless ~ if I felt this was it any wonder he felt as he did?

Overtime we’re putting his life puzzle together, it’s going to take a while and we’re both in it for the long haul but working together, we’ll make the changes we need to ensure that Dylan’s future is much brighter than his past.

At our last meeting Dylan and I cried tears of sorrow and laughter and he told me that he now feels lucky he met me that day because his life is changing, he doesn’t feel alone anymore! He said he now wants to live! That for me means everything and says it all! It’s exactly the reason why I do what I do everyday!

Things could have turned differently that day had Dylan and I not met. It’s likely he’d have been removed from the jobcentre, arrested, his form would have remained uncompleted, he’d have no money and would have continued in the spiral of being failed! Thankfully, we did meet and HEALS is able to help him and failure is now part of Dylan’s past.

Our next huge challenge is to try and get a diagnosis. Unfortunately, because Dylan is an adult, some of the tests he could have had done on the NHS or by experts as a child (under 16)are no longer available and cost. I’ve managed to persuade two of the top UK Specialists to see Dylan for £1,350 instead of their usual £3,000 fee. Of course they’ll be accommodation and travel on cost bringing it to just under £2,000.

He shouldn’t have to pay! I can hear you say. You’re right he shouldn’t but he does because Dylan has been failed and I for one have no intention of failing him anymore. How and where to find the money is my challenge but I face it with passion and determination!

Dylan has so to offer and I plan to give him his dream of being someone and he’s going to help and inspire others and show them that where you start out in life doesn’t determine where we end our journey! And he’ll show them that disability is no obstacle!

Dylan is just one example, I’m helping more like him everyday, all needing assessments costing between £350 and £1,500 each and everyone just as deserving.

Those we fail today, we continue to fail time and time again ~ except on my watch!

If you would like to help please donate via: http://localgiving.com/charity/healsmalmesbury

Name has been changed to protect identity.

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude” ~ Scott Hamilton

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude” ~ Scott Hamilton

This is true! It amazes me that we legislate against discrimination against those with a disability and things such as malicious communications. We live in an age where our children are educated about equality and diversity and even study citizenship. We’re considered to be an inclusive society or at least that’s what we like to think. The notion of community and caring is something we understand. How wrong can we be?

Over the years I’ve come across people who’ve said that at school their child had a diagnosis of a hidden disability but they’ve outgrown it! Can you believe that some people actually think that hidden disabilities suddenly disappear in adulthood! If you are born with a hidden disability then you’ll always have that disability ~ how it affects the person might change and the challenges in life will be different but it’s still there ~ no miracle cure exists.

Parenting a child with their own challenges is a whole new ball game ~ the rule book is totally different. I know when my own daughter was small how frustrated I’d become because I struggled to come to terms with the fact she was different. Then I started to think what it must be like for her, how can she be dealing with life. Susan Hampshire says “it is a lonely existance to be a child with a disability which no-one can see or understand, you exasperate your teachers, you disappoint your parents and worst of all you know you are not stupid.” This says it how it is, I made the choice that my daughter would not disappoint me because I would always do my best to try and see things from her perspective ~ although life will always hold challenges for both of us we’ve succeeded. In helping her, we can use our experience to help and give hope to others.

Many adults with hidden disabilities go on to have children of their own who face their own challenges because they too have a hidden disability. How much harder is it for these parents to navigate life? It’s a bit like having a bicycle kit to fix a car ~ no matter what you do it’ll never be enough. Is any of it the parents fault, whether they have a disability or not? Of course it isn’t!

Why is it that there are those who take delight in bullying those who are vulnerable? Those who make vulnerable people with a learning disability think that they are friends and then coerce them into behaving in a certain way?

NEWSFLASH! People with hidden disbilities cery often are unable to read the signs, they have difficulty distinguishing, banter, jokes, sarcasm, etc because they take life at face value.

Shame on those who know these individuals are vulnerable and still persist in making them think that they are their friends so that they’ll behave in an inapproriate way or do something wrong. What makes it worse is that these same individuals will then take pleasure in publicly humiliating the vulnerable because they have behaved and done exactly what those coercing them had wanted.

I’ve witnessed such behaviour over social media and I’ve also seen the posts by those vulnerable individuals. Maybe those doing the humiliating should think about them, just once! All they want to do is fit in, have friends, be like everyone else ~ don’t we all want that? It’s because they want to fit in that makes them an easy target!

“Disability is a matter of perception. If you can do just one thing well, you’re needed by someone” ~ Martina Navratilova. This is exactly one of the reasons why Heals – Help Empowerment And Local Support was set up. We help those who are vulnerable to have a voice, to find the things they are good at and encourage them, so that they can feel part of the community and avoid leading an isolated life.

What would I say to those being negative to those with hidden disabilities? I’d say start looking at the person in the mirror and ask them to change their ways because no message could be any clearer. Take a look at yourself and make a change ~ the world will be a better place and you’ll be a better person too because “the only disability in life is a bad attitude” ~ Scott Hamilton.

http://www.healsmalmesbury.com

http://localgiving.com/charity/healsmalmesbury

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com/

Keeping life simple – the advice of a tree!

Keeping life simple – the advice of a tree!

Can life be simple or do we complicate it?

Think of a tree, most stand for years and years, they lead a simple life requiring water and sunshine. If a tree were on some TV chat show what advice would it give? Perhaps it would be ~ stand tall and proud ~ go out on a limb ~ remember your roots ~ drink plenty of water ~ be content with your natural beauty and enjoy the view. Sounds like great advice to me.

What about the advice of the tree?

Stand tall and proud ~ so many people lack confidence yet what they do is admired by others? When we put pressure on ourselves, we complicate our lives. Anyone wanting to be successful in business needs to believe in themselves, focus on their goal and be proud of who they are and be proud of their journey. Where you start out does not determine your destination, anything is possible and when you see and believe that, you’ll achieve.

Go out on a limb ~ take chances, sure you have to plan and consider risks but you also have to take yourself out of your comfort zone, push your own boundaries. Growing up I was forever pushing boundaries and although back then it got me into heaps of trouble, I’ve come to realise that the lessons I learnt have given me the tools to help others in their lives. Successful people are always pushing boundaries, finding out how far they can go in any direction. Sometimes they fail but the destination is still success.

Remember your roots ~ there is a saying in Wales “you can take the girl out of Wales but you’ll never take the welsh out of the girl”. I’m proud of who I am and where I’ve come from but it wasn’t always the case. When I first moved to England I became aware of the differences and sometimes I felt like I didn’t belong. Over time I’ve become a ‘local’ and it’s a good feeling. However, my experience has made me even more aware of the need to make sure that the roots of the charity (my business) are firm. Too many people have a great business idea but it never goes anywhere because they forget to spend time making sure their roots are firm. Making sure the roots of your business are firm, will certainly keep life simple!

Drink plenty of water ~ without us there is no business so looking after ourselves is vital. Our bodies are mostly water and although we can lives without food, we can’t go without water. So we need to make sure that we look after our bodies. For me this is the biggest challenge, I constantly make time for everyone else except me! It complicates my life because I’m forever playing catch up, so the lesson for me today is to give myself time, likewise I pass this onto you because you are the central point of your business and it’ll help you keep life simple!

Be content with your natural beauty ~ beauty is not about the external package, it’s about what’s on the inside too and each one of us is beautiful. The challenge for the majority of us is believing this. The media today sets a standard which most of us never reach. Perfection does not exist so why keep striving for it. Happiness comes from within, so accept yourself, see your natural beauty because when you see it, so will others.

Enjoy the view ~ we all forget our own achievements in life. I recently sat down after what had a difficult day and reflected on my own life. I began writing a list of all the things I had done well in life. I was amazed! We all have the capacity to achieve and we all need to enjoy the view of those achievements.

Remember, everything in life is possible if you decide on it, plan for it, focus on it and go for it!

Keep life simple and start to follow the advice of a tree because when you do, life will be simple!

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com

http://www.heals.btck.co.uk

Your present situation is not your final destination because the best is yet to come!

Your present situation is not your final destination because the best is yet to come!

In fact we are the authors of our own life stories and just like any good ‘read’ our lives are filled with happy and sad events, times of laughter and times of struggle. For some the times of struggle are more than we can comprehend. I often think of people overcoming struggles as being like salmon swimming upstream. Are they going in the wrong direction or are they finding their own way.

I remember my Grandfather saying ” you’ve got to find your own way in life” and I used to think ‘what does he mean? I look back now and I realise that what he was really saying was, that I had to make choices that felt right. As it happens it’s sound advice but making choices about what felt right has also got me into trouble or not turned out the way I had hoped. I now use those negative experiences as stepping stones to something even better!

How many of us get pushed along dancing to someone else’s tune? This is different from guidance or advice because those offering you that do so out of a sense of care. Those pushing us along do so for their own reasons. This is why it’s important to have a firm plan and focus in business. In my experience being strategic is about three things:

1. Staying focused ~ know where your going, understand what the outcomes are but also recognise what they will actually look like. Too often we start in business and suddenly become vague about everything to do with that business. Are we vague in our personal lives? Of course not so why do it with our businesses? Be clear about what you are aiming to achieve, what you’re offering and how you are unique!

2. Seeing the bigger picture ~ this is more than being strategic focusing on the horizon, it’s about being able to see things from above. What makes our business different? Why should people choose us? What exactly are we offering? Strangely, I meet successful business people who seem unable to apply these principles to their personal lives?

3. Being able to assess the risk and manage success ~ this might seem odd but like anything in life, things unexpectedly happen! Things can go wrong, you can come up against an obstacle or things can become so successful, you’re swept along through success.

I’ve been on this very journey building HEALS (Help Empowerment And Local Support) and in my persoanl life too. There have been times I’ve doubted decisions, times when things have just seemed too far out of reach. There’ve also been other times when success has swept me along. It’s at these times I’ve had to apply the brakes, take a step back and reassess the direction. We should all do an assessment exercise in our business. I find it strange that people put together a business/strategic plan, write a governing document and then proceed to leave it on a shelf never to be looked at again. Then they wonder why it all goes/went wrong!

They’ve forgotten one important thing and that is their present situation is not their destination because their best is yet to come!

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com

http://www.heals.btck.co.uk

“Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones. Never regret. If it’s good it’s wonderful, if it’s bad it’s experience.”

“Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones. Never regret. If it’s good it’s wonderful, if it’s bad it’s experience.”

Over the years I’ve met a number of individuals who seem unable to move their lives forward because of their mistakes or something that went wrong or because something they had no control over has made them feel inadequate. The truth is it’s life, everyone faces these situations at sometime or other.

No-one is perfect and until we accept and learn to love ourselves for who we are, moving forward for some will remain an uphill struggle.

So how is it some people do and become successful? What sets those people apart is the ability to learn from every situation whether they be positive or negative.

There have been a number of times in my life when I’ve felt that was it, I couldn’t go on and I couldn’t see how I’d ever get back up but I did. I look at my life today and realise that I’m more resilient than I thought I was. I could have accepted the stereotypical ‘label’ placed on me by society – I was a single mother therefore, I wasn’t going to succeed and neither were my children. For many years this is what I expected and this is what I got! I now realise that whatever you strive for you can achieve but you have to be motivated, want it, see it and plan for it. You may not reach it the first time but you will achieve and you will be successful.

I am always amazed when I speak to successful people because the result isn’t always what they expected, in many cases it’s better! This is exactly how I feel! I knew I’d be doing the kind of work I do now but I didn’t think that starting and building a charity would be quite so exciting and rewarding.

Carrying your mistakes around with you weighs you down. I often liken it to Marley in the Dickens classic Scrooge. In death he carried around this huge chain, not being able to move forward. Carrying our mistakes is a bit like that too because we can end up carrying around our own invisable chain, which prevents us from being happy and it makes those around us unhappy too.

So, look at your own life and don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones. Never regret. If it’s good it’s wonderful, if it’s bad it’s experience.

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