“The only disability in life is a bad attitude” ~ Scott Hamilton

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude” ~ Scott Hamilton

This is true! It amazes me that we legislate against discrimination against those with a disability and things such as malicious communications. We live in an age where our children are educated about equality and diversity and even study citizenship. We’re considered to be an inclusive society or at least that’s what we like to think. The notion of community and caring is something we understand. How wrong can we be?

Over the years I’ve come across people who’ve said that at school their child had a diagnosis of a hidden disability but they’ve outgrown it! Can you believe that some people actually think that hidden disabilities suddenly disappear in adulthood! If you are born with a hidden disability then you’ll always have that disability ~ how it affects the person might change and the challenges in life will be different but it’s still there ~ no miracle cure exists.

Parenting a child with their own challenges is a whole new ball game ~ the rule book is totally different. I know when my own daughter was small how frustrated I’d become because I struggled to come to terms with the fact she was different. Then I started to think what it must be like for her, how can she be dealing with life. Susan Hampshire says “it is a lonely existance to be a child with a disability which no-one can see or understand, you exasperate your teachers, you disappoint your parents and worst of all you know you are not stupid.” This says it how it is, I made the choice that my daughter would not disappoint me because I would always do my best to try and see things from her perspective ~ although life will always hold challenges for both of us we’ve succeeded. In helping her, we can use our experience to help and give hope to others.

Many adults with hidden disabilities go on to have children of their own who face their own challenges because they too have a hidden disability. How much harder is it for these parents to navigate life? It’s a bit like having a bicycle kit to fix a car ~ no matter what you do it’ll never be enough. Is any of it the parents fault, whether they have a disability or not? Of course it isn’t!

Why is it that there are those who take delight in bullying those who are vulnerable? Those who make vulnerable people with a learning disability think that they are friends and then coerce them into behaving in a certain way?

NEWSFLASH! People with hidden disbilities cery often are unable to read the signs, they have difficulty distinguishing, banter, jokes, sarcasm, etc because they take life at face value.

Shame on those who know these individuals are vulnerable and still persist in making them think that they are their friends so that they’ll behave in an inapproriate way or do something wrong. What makes it worse is that these same individuals will then take pleasure in publicly humiliating the vulnerable because they have behaved and done exactly what those coercing them had wanted.

I’ve witnessed such behaviour over social media and I’ve also seen the posts by those vulnerable individuals. Maybe those doing the humiliating should think about them, just once! All they want to do is fit in, have friends, be like everyone else ~ don’t we all want that? It’s because they want to fit in that makes them an easy target!

“Disability is a matter of perception. If you can do just one thing well, you’re needed by someone” ~ Martina Navratilova. This is exactly one of the reasons why Heals – Help Empowerment And Local Support was set up. We help those who are vulnerable to have a voice, to find the things they are good at and encourage them, so that they can feel part of the community and avoid leading an isolated life.

What would I say to those being negative to those with hidden disabilities? I’d say start looking at the person in the mirror and ask them to change their ways because no message could be any clearer. Take a look at yourself and make a change ~ the world will be a better place and you’ll be a better person too because “the only disability in life is a bad attitude” ~ Scott Hamilton.

http://www.healsmalmesbury.com

http://localgiving.com/charity/healsmalmesbury

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com/

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more then you are a leader ~ John Quincy Adams

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more then you are a leader.

“It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the frontline when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.” ~ Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela is a man many today look to as an example of a great leader, in years to come generations will read his story in the history books and aspire to be like him. Like many other great leaders he’s left a lasting legacy.

In my many years of working in a range of industries I’ve come across managers with differing approaches. There have been those who’ve been dictatorial with no room for negotiation, discussion and neither did they allow creativity. They always sought to have the last word. There have been those who ‘managed‘ in name only! Although it said Manager on their badge, the staff pretty much did what they wanted to and chaos and disrution would follow or those less senior would have to step in and complete work that wasn’t their responsibility because the manager wasn’t doing their job! A few have been examples of excellent managers and leaders.

I remember the first manager I worked with around thirty years ago – Mrs Myers. Now here was a great manager! I was working in one of British Shoe Corporation’s shoe shops in Cardiff. Mrs Myers was approachable, firm when she had to be but she encouraged all her staff to be the best they could. I learnt so much from her. Many of her staff went on to lead successful lives either in manangement, business or other areas. I remember one instance when a new member of staff was struggling with reaching her sales target for that day. I had exceeded mine and Mrs Myers quietly asked me to give my next sales to this team member. She also added sales and that month everyone got a bonus! We all learnt that day that thinking of each other and working as a team helped everyone. In all my working life I haven’t forgotten Mrs Myers.

Is there a difference between management and leadership?

Peter Drucker ~ “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right thing.”

Empowering your team is one of the greatest strengths of a leader and it’s the one thing so many get wrong or misjudge. “When the best leaders work is done the people say, we did it ourselves” ~ Lao Tzu

Over the years I’ve mentored a number of people and I’ve witnessed what they’ve achieved. Most have become and are still good friends and even today years later, we still talk about our early days of working together. Seeing them succeed in their lives is something words can’t describe.

Am I good leader? I try to be and I do try to follow the principles of good leadership. Sometimes I get it wrong but the lesson I’ve learnt is I’m human and human’s make mistakes! What we learn from those mistakes and how we try to ensure we don’t repeat those mistakes is what matter. Doing the right thing and thinking about the needs of each individual within your team is important because if your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more then you are a leader.

Keeping life simple – the advice of a tree!

Keeping life simple – the advice of a tree!

Can life be simple or do we complicate it?

Think of a tree, most stand for years and years, they lead a simple life requiring water and sunshine. If a tree were on some TV chat show what advice would it give? Perhaps it would be ~ stand tall and proud ~ go out on a limb ~ remember your roots ~ drink plenty of water ~ be content with your natural beauty and enjoy the view. Sounds like great advice to me.

What about the advice of the tree?

Stand tall and proud ~ so many people lack confidence yet what they do is admired by others? When we put pressure on ourselves, we complicate our lives. Anyone wanting to be successful in business needs to believe in themselves, focus on their goal and be proud of who they are and be proud of their journey. Where you start out does not determine your destination, anything is possible and when you see and believe that, you’ll achieve.

Go out on a limb ~ take chances, sure you have to plan and consider risks but you also have to take yourself out of your comfort zone, push your own boundaries. Growing up I was forever pushing boundaries and although back then it got me into heaps of trouble, I’ve come to realise that the lessons I learnt have given me the tools to help others in their lives. Successful people are always pushing boundaries, finding out how far they can go in any direction. Sometimes they fail but the destination is still success.

Remember your roots ~ there is a saying in Wales “you can take the girl out of Wales but you’ll never take the welsh out of the girl”. I’m proud of who I am and where I’ve come from but it wasn’t always the case. When I first moved to England I became aware of the differences and sometimes I felt like I didn’t belong. Over time I’ve become a ‘local’ and it’s a good feeling. However, my experience has made me even more aware of the need to make sure that the roots of the charity (my business) are firm. Too many people have a great business idea but it never goes anywhere because they forget to spend time making sure their roots are firm. Making sure the roots of your business are firm, will certainly keep life simple!

Drink plenty of water ~ without us there is no business so looking after ourselves is vital. Our bodies are mostly water and although we can lives without food, we can’t go without water. So we need to make sure that we look after our bodies. For me this is the biggest challenge, I constantly make time for everyone else except me! It complicates my life because I’m forever playing catch up, so the lesson for me today is to give myself time, likewise I pass this onto you because you are the central point of your business and it’ll help you keep life simple!

Be content with your natural beauty ~ beauty is not about the external package, it’s about what’s on the inside too and each one of us is beautiful. The challenge for the majority of us is believing this. The media today sets a standard which most of us never reach. Perfection does not exist so why keep striving for it. Happiness comes from within, so accept yourself, see your natural beauty because when you see it, so will others.

Enjoy the view ~ we all forget our own achievements in life. I recently sat down after what had a difficult day and reflected on my own life. I began writing a list of all the things I had done well in life. I was amazed! We all have the capacity to achieve and we all need to enjoy the view of those achievements.

Remember, everything in life is possible if you decide on it, plan for it, focus on it and go for it!

Keep life simple and start to follow the advice of a tree because when you do, life will be simple!

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com

http://www.heals.btck.co.uk