Face your fear and great things will begin to happen.

We all have fears of one kind or another, I know I have plenty, spiders, water, flying, the list goes on! For each of us the fears will always be different. I guess our fears depend on our life experiences. If like me your Mum screamed at the sight of a spider, it’s quite likely you will also have that fear too.

There is one fear that everyone seems to share and that’s the fear of failure but why are we afraid? Is failure really a fail or is it we’re looking at it the wrong way. We’ve all seen this picture where at first some will see a young woman while others will see an old lady or the one where some will see a vase while others might see two faces.

Failure isn’t failure at all, it’s a gift! It’s a time of reflection, an opportunity to learn what not to do next time. In fact with each failure we arm ourselves with the knowledge that will lead to future success. It’s how you use what you’ve learned that’s important!

Many people in business worry about failure but are we more concerned about what others think of us? I know for me this was true for so long, with each ‘knock’ I’d get distraught, I’d spend time worrying about what to do next. However, what that showed was my own insecurities and lack of confidence. Sure some people may voice their opinions some because they love and care about you and some do it in a derogatory way. Listen to those who love and care about you but take the insults and negative comments as a gift too. I personally find this difficult but I’m learning to ‘take it on the chin’ and move on and it’s certainly working for me!

Living life expecting perfection or only good comments and times is an unrealistic expectation. Looking back on my life, I can see that it’s been an interesting journey and I’ve had many ‘gifts’ that have helped shape me into the person I am today and I’m beginning to like the person I see everyday. I don’t know about you but I’m looking forward to the next chapter in my life.

So face your fear and great things will begin to happen.

 

Be prepared for the insults and negative comments because when they come you know you’ve arrived !!

In life be it work, business or personal, there will always be someone who says something negative and it’s not always said as constructive, it’s said purposely!

I used to get really upset and annoyed when this happened, I’d take it personally because after all if you’re committed to what you do and believe in what you do, why wouldn’t you? Many of us in business, (if we were honest) would admit we spend more hours on work than we’re paid to do.

Only a few nights ago I was having social media conversations with two friends (also in business) who like me were up to ‘silly hours’, doing business work. If someone is purposely negative about you or your business, the obvious reaction is going to be one of being upset.

Instead of looking at this way consider this, if someone has taken the time to work out what they don’t like about you, your business or what you’re doing, if they have taken the time to ‘do their homework’, if those who are being negative about you gossip, then take it as a compliment, don’t get upset because they’ve considered who you are and what you do to be important.

Are they making you a celebrity? A celebrity is a person who has a prominent profile and commands some degree of public fascination.

Recently, I came up against such an incident. Someone in my community was trying to be negative about a friend’s business. I remember listening to them thinking well they seem to know a lot ~ even if they got the important facts incorrect. I thought, gosh! you’ve spent your time looking at someone else ~ you’re making them into a celebrity and they had!

Whenever people pay you an insult or give you a negative comment, don’t react with upset, instead smile and be the better person and thank them. They’ll be baffled!

My favorite poem ‘Don’t you Quit’ refers to failures as success turned inside out and this certainly seems to be true.

So be prepared for insults and negative comments because when they come you know you’ve arrived ~ celebrate the celebrity in you!

When the light in you joins the light in another, you become one light in greater brilliance.

“When the light in you joins the light in another, you become one light in greater brilliance.”

This is true in many aspects of life, especially when it comes to building a business or charity because you need those around who share the vision, are able to stand back, see and understand the bigger picture and work together to achieve it.

For us at HEALS it’s about teamwork in helping everyone understand what we aim to do. However, I’m learning that while people want to be part of a team, very often its the few who end up doing the majority of the work. Perhaps those ‘standing back’ have not realized that  working together achieves amazing results for the team and those we reach out to support?

What is encouraging is the support you get from others who understand “what you’re about and trying to do.” At HEALS we’re coming across these people too, their support and feedback proves that we’re making a difference.

It’s not an easy road to success but then if it was would we appreciate it? There will always be things that go wrong. If we look at all those people we consider successful, we’ll see that the one thing they have in common is they fell, more than once. I’m sure they’d say they felt like giving up at some point, probably on more than one occasion ~ they didn’t, they got up and tried again.

I heard a marvelous lady, Margaret Carter from Patchwork Pates talking and she said that to be successful, you had to do your best in whatever you do but do it with passion, know your stuff, be tenacious, believe in yourself and give back to your community. I was sat there thinking ~ this is me and this is HEALS !!!

I’ve also learned that it’s important to surround yourself with like minded people and the power of networking. So you see when the light in you joins the light in another, you become one light in greater brilliance.

“I’ll be happy when… “

 

 

How often do we hear people say this? How often do we say it ourselves?

“I’ll be happy when I have a new car.”

“I’ll be happy when I get married.”

“I’ll be happy when I get a better job.”

“I’ll be happy when I move house.”

“I’ll be happy when I win the lottery!”

What we forget is that happiness is a choice, not an easy one, especially when we have outside pressures, trauma, worries or concerns to deal with. At times being happy seems to be the biggest challenge in life.

You’ve made the decision you want to be happy but how can you achieve it?

Set aside pettiness and non-important issues you may have with others. What if they can’t do the same? It’s their issue don’t retaliate just remember you’re a better person, move on and do your best to ignore their words and deeds. Others will always knock you and it’s hard when they do but life is for living.

Stop believing all the rubbish we tell ourselves about how we are a coward, lazy, not creative or unlucky. The truth is we all have talents, something to give, it’s about believing in what you can do or offer and that starts with believing in you.

Put your problems into context, there are far worse things in the world happening. Try your best to focus on where you want to be in life and keep going what you can to get there.

Tell the people you trust when you need help, or when you feel you’re depressed or you’re happy, share these times.  Don’t do what we all do at one time and another and play it cool and pretend we only care as much as the other person has admitted to caring, when we only open up half way. We need people to acknowledge us so we need to make sure that we acknowledge those that we care about those who are there for us.

Practice gratitude and do it often. Gratitude is what makes what we have enough. Gratitude is the most basic way to connect with that sense of being an integral part of the vastness of the universe.

Keep things simple, we’ll always face challenges and obstacles what we don’t need to do is create extra ones. Have you noticed what often seemed a small issue at the time, seems not to be when we look back? Being ‘in the moment’ magnifies things.

Admit your mistakes and errors and learn to apologize and be sincere about it. People think so much more of those who know they’ve done something wrong and are doing what they can to put it right.

The most important thing to being happy is to be kind. It costs nothing and pays dividends. It won’t help you save the whole world but it will make the lives of others better.  Be honest about being kind, those who are truly kind do it quietly, they do it for others and not themselves. If others acknowledge their kindness publically then show kindness by saying thanks. Lots of people get acknowledged for what they do and there will always be those, who want to use this negatively!

The biggest thing we can do in life is to extend love and kindness to others. Once we achieve this we know we have made a difference and are on the way  to changing the world and being happy.

Are you a Sheep? Are you Innovative? Are you a leader?

If you asked people these questions most would aspire to be innovative or leaders, however, it seems that all too often people go into ‘sheep’ mode. We all like to think we make up our own minds about things in life, be it situations, business, schools, individuals, organisations, etc

History has shown us some of the most disastrous results of how people have been influenced to do the unthinkable atrocities. Look at what happened in 1930’s Germany, the German people believed what was written about the Jews and they acted in ways that are still to this day something we find difficult to  comprehend. We all say that we hope such atrocities should never happen again but over and over we witness events around the world and wonder why, terrible things still happen.

Despite all the legislation in place to protect people and the way we consider and like to think that society is inclusive, are we really? Do we make decisions and judgments, completely alone? The reality is that we are all influenced by something or others.

Is that bad? Of course not, it’s quite reasonable to ask others for their views. What isn’t acceptable is when others, use the insecurities of others to ‘bully’, slander or  try to ‘bring down’ others. What’s worse is when those being ‘maneuvered’ don’t realize they are!

I’m learning in life that trying to be innovative and a leader has great rewards and great pitfalls. There always seems to be those same few who for no valid reason, are intent on trying to make you fail or ‘prove’ to others that their lies are the truth.

The leaders rise above it, the innovators look for other paths and the sheep …… well they ‘just do as their told.’ Being a sheep is just too easy, you pretend you’re thinking for yourself and doing what you want but all the while, someone else is ‘pulling the strings.’

Being a leader or innovator isn’t the easiest thing in the world to be, after all once you’re at the top you have further to fall.  All good leaders need a strong support team around them to give them a reality check, tell them when they’re wrong, show them when they’re lost.

Choose to be a leader or an innovator, the journey may not be the easiest but the ride through life is something not to be missed!

When life throws you a curve ball …………

Life it seems has many curve balls, some you happen across that are beyond your control, like sudden, accidents. Then there are those that happen that we expect but still knock us for six, like the time my dad passed away following his heart transplant and then there are those that others throw at us because they’re jealous, want to cause us problems or bring us down.

Do those throwing curve balls ever think of anyone else? Why with all the curve balls we already deal with in life would you choose to throw one at anyone else? It seems heartless to me but maybe I’m alone in thinking that?

Of course some of what other people say or do annoys us and we might even think nasty thoughts or even say nasty things to those close to us, about those who strive to hurt us but we don’t act on them. Why? Because deep down we’d never hurt others ourselves deliberately.

Why then are some people intent on doing and saying awful things about others, why are those who profess on one hand to care, hurt when another’s back is turned? It makes no sense?

When life throws you a curve ball from someone trying to hurt you, bring you down or discredit you in some way, ask why. If there is no apparent reason why, then walk tall, don’t retaliate by throwing the curve ball back because that makes you as bad as them and two wrongs never make a right.

It’s their issue not yours and it should show others what they’re truly like. If they can treat you like this everyone else should really  beware, it could be them next!! Remember you’re better, just carry on moving forwards, stay positive and be true to yourself.

Life will throw you many curve balls ………….. accept them as a chance to learn and a gift.

Imagine …………………

Imagine how you would cope knowing you couldn’t support your child in a system that was letting them down?
Imagine being a vulnerable person confused, scared and feeling no one outside your family cared about you or your future?
Imagine thinking life had nothing to offer?
Imagine thinking about ending your life because that seemed your best option?
Imagine being a parent who was told the news that their child was gone?

The young person was WILL, RACHAEL & ASH are his parents ……… no one should ever think ending their life is the option and no parent should ever hear the news that their child is gone.

It’s a situation that seems to be more frequent than we might imagine !! Who would think that in this modern age and in a society that prides itself on equality, fairness and being inclusive, that this would be happening?

WILL FRIENDS can change this, we want to use WILL’s story to raise awareness of the difficulties faced by those with hidden disabilities and autism. We want to create a space where those who society lets fall through the gaps, can meet, feel safe and get advice.

The big challenge and question is how to raise the money to make it happen? So I end the day with no answer? Maybe tomorrow I’ll find the answer? Till then I’ll try and imagine …..

http://www.alisoncross-jones.com

 

The challenge of reaching out to those in need

In a conversation with a good friend recently we got talking about how things were going at HEALS and about how we could reach out to those in need. “Are there many in need in our community?” my friend asked. “You’d be shocked, I said” the reality I’ve come to realize is, that many of those we meet everyday are facing their own personal challenge/s in life and the challenge/s they face, may not always be the same at any one time.

Just because we get a happy face and a “hello” it doesn’t mean that everything’s really alright.

Yesterday, I heard the news that another person facing their own personal challenges ended their battle with life. Hearing this news is sad and upsetting, it’s a life wasted. I’ve been encouraged by the kind words of those who knew the person and I’ve been amazed by those who seek to discredit them in death for the things they got wrong in life.

Okay they made mistakes but can anyone honestly say that there are things that they’ve never done wrong. We’re human everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect and so standing in judgement of others is wrong. Everyone has the capacity to change their future and leave the unchangeable past behind. Doing it alone is not always possible.

What we should do is reach out, listen and offer to help. Having said that its only possible to help those who ask us to help. Of course in helping others there’s also the obstacle of trying to help people in need, in a system that seems at times to have more holes than a sieve.

Too many people seem to fall through the cracks and like this person the end result is unthinkable. Maneuvering the obstacle of the system is by far the biggest challenge.

People often say to me why can’t you or HEALS help? The truth is in order to help, we need expert partners and money to train a team. We have the partners and are working on developing more partners. By far our biggest challenge raising funds.

People ask where the family and friends are when tragedy happens. The truth is that even those who we love and love us, are also powerless to give the help needed sometimes.

The vision is for HEALS is to be able to reach out to all those in need. We may not always have the answers but we’ll give it a go and we’ll do our best to raise awareness of those who slip through the net.

If you’re reading this and you want to help us to help, encourage and support others, then why not make a donation? Please contact HEALS via the website http://www.heals.btck.co.uk

UK Pride of Britain Awards Regional Finalist

Imagine your doing your daily tasks, the phone rings and you find out you’ve been shortlisted for a UK Pride of Britain Regional Award for Unsung Hero!

What would you do? Would you think it was someone having a joke? Four days this happened to me!

Since hearing the news life has seemed like a complete whirlwind! Of course I’m pleased to have been nominated for what I do and the words of congratulations and support mean a lot but I’m just me. I’m not unique, I’m certainly not better than anyone else. I can think of dozens of people who’ve done more than me and never been recognized. I also know that I wouldn’t have done anything in life. I get to work the most amazing people who inspire me every day.

Do I feel like an unsung hero? Not sure about that, what I do know is that I’m ready to give what I can to those who need it and the one thing I have is my time. Where does all this come from? I’m not sure, I do believe that we each have a responsibility to look out for one another. Life hasn’t been a piece of cake for me its been a challenge at times, so I have some understanding of when things seem hopeless and the end of the tunnel seems out of reach. In my time I’ve come across lots of people who’s lives have been filled with so much hurt and hearing their stories is upsetting. I think having had my own challenges to face helps me have an empathy with those I try to help.

What next? ITV will do a film and a panel will decide the regional winner. Of course winning the region would be wonderful but the best bit for me is knowing that what I’m doing is making a difference to someone, somewhere. I’m grateful to my children, family, friends, all those I work with, supporters and advisers, who all make this possible. Whatever happens, I’m still me, I’ll still be there if and when I’m needed.

Community

What does community actually mean?

The dictionary gives us 3 distinct meanings:

1. a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common e.g.
   • a group of people living together and practicing common ownership: a community of nuns
   • a particular area or place considered together with its inhabitants: a rural community/local communities
   • a body of nations or states unified by common interests: [in names]: the European Community
   • the people of a district or country considered collectively, especially in the context of social values and responsibilities; society: preparing prisoners for life back in the community
   • [as modifier] denoting a worker or resource designed to serve the people of a particular area: community health services
2. the condition of sharing or having certain attitudes and interests in common
3. a group of interdependent plants or animals growing or living together in natural conditions or occupying a specified habitat

When I think of community, I think of collaboration, partnership, helping and supporting one another. In reality it doesn’t always manifest itself as this. Far too often I witness and see people intent on causing others grief and I ask myself why? Is it jealousy because they perceive others to be more successful, popular, have more friends? Is it insecurity or lack of confidence because they don’t really see their own potential? Is it because they are just mean and nasty people? Could it be a combination of any of these? Bottom line is there is no need for anyone to seek to do or say anything wrong against another, unless there is a genuine reason for example someone breaking the law.

Yesterday was the Carnival Procession in Malmesbury and Devizes.  There are lots of photos online showing the floats, the crowds, the musicians, etc. It’s been good to see happiness on each one. Even if you weren’t there, you can imagine what it must have been like, the photos [whether professional or amateur] convey the excitement and atmosphere.

For the first time in six years I was a bystander in Malmesbury. I wasn’t helping as part of the committee, I wasn’t stewarding, I was able to take in the atmosphere like everyone else. The carnival was wonderful, full of color, people smiling, helping one another, positive communication, not a bit of negativity.

Today I’ve seen posts about the various after procession parties and the written feedback, which shows people enjoying one another’s company. I’m asking myself, why is it that at carnivals, festivals, fetes, fairs, etc people can be community at its best, yet at other times not? It seems odd that those working together one day, can seek to rip one another apart the next.

Maybe we should set out with the same thoughts and actions everyday that we do on those ‘community days‘? If we work together, not have negative thoughts or use negative words and actions, leave anything negative in the past behind us, draw a line and move forward.

Community exists and we can all make it better. Let’s set ourselves the challenge to make everyday a ‘carnival day‘, lets make everyday one when we reach out and do something nice for another. If we don’t get back from others what we put in or expect, lets just be happy with our own actions.