Is that an odd question?
A mentor is ‘an experienced and trusted adviser’ someone who’s been there and worn the t-shirt, someone who’s made the mistakes, someone with knowledge.
So why ask the question is your mentor a ‘Folly’?
In architecture, a folly is a building constructed primarily for decoration, or suggests through its appearance some other purpose, or merely appearing to be so extravagant that it transcends the normal range of garden ornaments or the class of building to which it belongs. A ‘folly’ isn’t real! It looks good, it seems good but look behind the façade and there’s pretty much nothing there.
In all areas of our lives you’ll find that you might need a mentor, I know this has been true for me and I’ve been lucky because I’ve learnt lessons from all of them. For the support of a mentor to be successful you need trust, after all you need their help and support and you’re going to be honest with them and in return you’ll want them to be honest. Trust isn’t something that happens overnight, if it does then the relationship is a folly! Trust is built up over a long and sustained period of time. After all, if someone treats others in a way we’re not comfortable, chances are at some point they’ll behave the same way to us. Therefore, none of us should ever make such important life decisions on face value; many do and live to regret it later.
Just because someone says they are who they are or they’ve done what they’ve done doesn’t mean they have. Anyone can say, I’ve done this or I’ve achieved that, the question is can they prove what they say is tangible? Whenever, I work with anyone, I tell them to Google me and I tell them that if they require more evidence then all they need to do is ask and I can provide it.
I’ve been lucky to have some great business mentors and walking alongside others I’ve come to realise that this is one area where it’s vital to have a mentor you trust. Those in business will understand that your business is your life. They are something that’s been built from the foundations up, something that’s been nurtured. Our business is also something where we’ve spent hours getting our structure right, planning, working out our goals and objectives, writing our Business Plans, getting our communication strategy in order – and that’s just the basics and fundamentals!
Nothing in a successful business happens by chance or because you and someone else thought it was a good idea at the time. Business success happens when you love what you do, when you have passion and when you make the fundamentals your priority and ensure that those are firmly in place. We mustn’t forget that just like anything else in life businesses require hard work.
I’ve come across people who seem to have flitted from one business venture to another with none actually being successful. Business like other areas of life can sometimes need trial and error and of course there is no negative in this. However, for a few this behaviour becomes a pattern with them never sticking at anything for too long?
Therefore, having the right mentor/s is important and “leaving things to chance” shouldn’t be an option. After all no-one in their right mind would let someone working on push bikes fix your car! You might let a vet deliver a baby but the vet’s profession is with animals not people, so ensuring that your mentor clearly understands the part they can play is important. Throughout life we will all have different mentors for different tasks and at different times.
Liking someone as a mentor is good too but respecting someone is better! Do you have to like someone to respect them? Do you have to be friends with someone you respect? Quite simply no! Having respect for your mentor is vital, liking them is not. The important thing is to be able to find a way of having a cohesive working relationship with your mentor but this is different from a friendship! You must be able to challenge your mentor and ask them questions and be satisfied with their answer.
I’ve often referred to being in business as a journey. This is true; we start at point A planning a route to get to point M. There are too many businesses that never get to M. Having someone sit with you sharing ideas is doing just that this isn’t mentoring! A good mentor will go further by showing you exactly what you need to do to get there and they may even give you a checklist of steps to help keep you on track. The best mentors will understand that planning is essential The destination you’re aiming for in life is only possible with a clear plan (that takes other factors into account, in case the route needs to change or you encounter an issue ‘on the road’) and hard focused work. Anyone who doesn’t plan and lives by the moment may not be the best mentor! Those we take on our life journey (especially our business journey) shouldn’t be passengers just along for the ride!
When choosing a business mentor be sure that you speak to others and make sure that their influence on that person’s business is tangible and quantifiable. You will need to be able to quantify – make sure you can say – “********* my business mentor is great because they have helped my business/me by …….” then quantify this with something tangible and give examples that demonstrate this. Be 100% sure that your business mentor can talk the talk, do the walk and can prove who they are and what they’ve done!
Above all ensure that your mentor is real and ask yourself is my mentor a ‘Folly’?
alisoncrossjones 