Don’t judge a book by its cover!
Although we like to think we are all non-judgmental, I expect we all have at one time or another judged someone else. Perhaps we’ve judged people because of the job they do, the clothes they wear, maybe it’s because of their circumstances or appearance or could it be that we believe a stereotype in the press? What we all do is judge?
We all know Susan Boyle and most of us remember the moment she first appeared on Britain’s Got Talent. Like the judges we first saw some ‘odd’ person stroll out on stage. Simon Cowell asks “What’s the dream?” Susan replies“I want to be a professional singer”. At this point everyone is thinking OMG!!! “Why hasn’t it worked till now?” Simon asks and Susan replies “Because I haven’t been given a chance before but here’s hoping it’ll change” The look on the judges faces shows that they are expecting little from her performance. Simon “Who would you like to be as successful as?” Susan answers “Elaine Paige.” I’ve watched the YouTube clip many times and can see the audience members faces, they like us did not expect what comes next! As soon as Susan started singing the audience and judges start clapping, they’re on their feet in support. They judged without knowing what Susan could really do. When they saw her talent and potential everything changed! Amanda Holden in her feedback says “I honestly think at the beginning we were all being cynical and I think that’s the biggest wake up call ever!” Have you ever noticed the change in Susan Boyle after all three judges say yes? Suddenly, in that one moment, her whole outlook changed.
The press tells us that the children of single parents will never amount to anything. Of course that might be true in some cases but there are many more children of single parents who are successful in life and never cause trouble or bother to any one. In fact just as many children from homes with two parents get into trouble.
A friend of mine who was a single mother went to college and her son is a Barrister another friend’s daughter is a successful business woman and another’s children all went to University and are successfully working in Corporate.
My Mum bless her used to worry that people would think badly of me for being a single mother but I’ve learnt that people judge you whatever your situation. Maybe they read the papers or listen to local gossip, maybe they are jealous or it might be that they are so unhappy with themselves that this manifests itself in judgement of others? We cannot change what other people think, what we can do is be true and honest to ourselves and value those who matter. I know that for every one person who takes issue with me, there are ten who don’t. Why worry about what the one thinks? I’m thankful for the ten.
When my daughter was small everyone else was resigned to the fact that due to her learning disability, she wasn’t going to achieve much and so I should be happy with that. I knew they were wrong and was going to show them that they were wrong. Through my work I’ve come across time and time again families where the outcome looks bleak because their child has a learning disability or Autism. I’ve met single parents who think that their life will never improve and there are those who’ve made mistakes or followed an ‘undesirable’ path in life, who society judge so harshly that even when they change, people keep trying to put them down! Is it a pastime of some people to judge others?
You know a few things spring to mind when writing this blog. One is a version of the God give me the Serenity Verse which says:
“God give me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, The courage to change the person I can and the wisdom to know that’s me”
It’s true the only person we can change is us, so when we meet those who we might find difficult to accept because of their background, just remember that it’s not about what has gone before, it’s about the here and now and the future.
Have you ever noticed how people’s tool boxes are different? They probably all have a few items which are the same but that’s it. They come in all shapes, sizes and colours, as do people. So life is like a tool box, we each have our own and we’ll each equip our own based on what life challenges us to do. Therefore, equipping a tool box with the basics is essential. For me this about giving people a chance, a chance to grow, an opportunity to see their potential, which of course will be different for everyone, to recognize that change is possible, to help, encourage, empower and support and to not judge.
Susan Boyle is not unique, there are many more like her around us, those who get overlooked, those who never get the chance and those who are judged and who we judge.
Helping others see their potential and reach out for it, is in part why the charity HEALS [Help Encouragement And Local Support] was founded to do and why we believe everyone deserves a chance, an opportunity and to have their ‘Susan Boyle moment too’ so remember ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover!’.
This blog is part of the I Am Woman 30 day blogging challenge.
alisoncrossjones 
Sometimes I hear so much judgement and I think this is why I do what I do- it takes away the judgement and raises awareness of different models of the world.