“Friends are the family we choose” this phrase is true. Today I may know lots of people but my true friends are much smaller in number and those are the people who, like my family, are the ones that I cherish and value.
Growing up making friends was never my strongest point although my mum noted, that I always seemed to want to be friends with children, from even poorer families than us or those no-one else wanted to be friends with!
I don’t know why making friends was difficult, I could communicate with adults perfectly well! I did have some friends but friendships never seemed to last. I think deep down I was eager to be liked, maybe I was too eager back then. I thought that being liked and that having lots of ‘friends’ would make me happy.
In later years I’ve come to realize that being true to yourself and being myself has brought me real friends and lasting friendships. True friends are those who accept us warts and all! Along life’s path I’ve learned that there will always be those who want to use you for what or who you know and we never seem to spot it until it’s too late and we’ve been had!
I look around and observe people with ‘false’ friendships! People seem to form friendships after five minutes, ‘live in one another’s pockets’ and boast about having lots of friends. I’ve learned that quantity is far less important than quality It seems that for some you know people for five minutes and suddenly and feel lucky for my true friends.
Friendships can be unlikely. My friend Jan was one of those friends. To the outside world we were unlikeliest of friends! She was the wife of a successful business man and I was the poor single mother. What could we possibly have in common? The fact is we shared many things, we both had a similar sense of humour and some interests which included art music, our faith and we were both Mum’s. We both trusted one another and often put the world to rights over a cup of tea or glass of wine. Jan was there through all the struggles with the Education Authority and she was there on the phone on my days of despair! “I’m not sure I’m helping” she would say or “I wish I could do more!”. What Jan never realized was that just being there and having someone I could trust was enough. Jan passed away a few years ago and I still think of her often.
I’ve shared so much laughter and tears with my friends Tina and Diane over the last twenty years. We may not see one another every day since I emigrated …… to England from Wales! but we’re still there for each other.
As I write this blog, I think of all my friends, those who I trust and care about. Their number may not be large but they are truly amazing people and my life is blessed because they are part of it.
What makes for a good friendship? Simply it’s honesty [with others and yourself], trust, acceptance, shared interests and a listening ear. Fake people are quickly found out! Friendship is to be valued. I miss the friends who are no longer here, it’s amazing how we leave lasting footprints on the lives of those we are friends with.
This blog has been written as part of the I Am Woman 30 day blogging challenge.
alisoncrossjones 
What a lovely post. I have some very dear friends from the old days who are still with me. I form friendships easily and trust too much. I wont change, but I certainly find it easier to walk away from toxic people.